"CONVICTION"

Part 47

When someone ask me about Azan Khan, I always told them he was really fun-loving, caring. He was a great company to have and a good friend, boyfriend and brother.

But they don't know how troublemaker he was. He would always get his work done by making his strong puppy eyes which I could never deny. Those eyes that twinkled with mischief.

They don't know how much he loved rain. His brown eyes sparkled with happiness everytime it rained. He would ran everytime out and I had to run behind him to stop him. Though it made him sick, he didn't care.

They don't know small things you did for him made him happy. Even if he liked it or not, he would never complain.

They don't know he didn't like anger. It made him sad, feel something heavy in him. He never liked argument or screaming. He was a peacemaker. Who would easily get hurt by all this.

They don't know he was scared, scared of getting hurt again. After all this, he decided to blame himself for everything, Shreya's death. It hurted him. Loud noises hurt. It made his chest tighten painfully.

They don't know every breath I take without him slowly breaks me. It feels like a stab my heart when someone takes his name.

They don't know how much I cried and begged when they took him away from me. It was just a dead body for them, but for me, it was my life.

They don't know how much I wished for him to be alive for just one day, only one day so I could say a proper goodbye. Tell him about our unborn child. But a part of me knew it would never happen.

They don't know when I sat down next to him, holding his hand, while he lying there lifelessly. I wanted him to say anything, it was raining, I waited for him to get up and ran outside so I can catch him. But he never did.

They don't know it crashed me to my knees, sobs taking over my body as I realized I could never see his innocent brown eyes again.

They don't know how desperately I visited his gravesite everyday. Spending hours and hours there. To give him company. Though it pained me, I just wanted to make sure he was ok........

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds'. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

And every moment I live without him, makes me realize how much I was dependent on him. Because I loved him, I love him and always will...........

THE END..........