III. The Confession of My Love (Fran)

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A/N: Fran wrote this letter to Finn in the same day Finn wrote his letter to Fran. Again, this takes place further down the line in the story. I won't be answering too many questions, since those will probably give out spoilers. So sit tight, you'll find out everything in time.

That's it! VOTE AND COMMENT! And enjoy!

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City of Somnia, Kingdom of Lacertus, southern Italy. Autumn of 1435.


My darling Finn,


I sit here, with only rats and misery for a company. This day, oh God, it started so beautifully! I can still feel your lips against mine, the smell of your skin. I can still see your, so beautiful eyes, watching me, tracing every line of my face, all the while I was doing the same with yours. So I would know every detail, every movement you make when you smile or look at me, or sit writing at your desk.


The day started so well, and now I'm here, in this prison cell. But I will remember your face. I made sure of it this morning, as I do it every day.


I think you do it too. You focus your eyes, just like I do, begging for your mind to remember this, me, us. I hope you do it. I surely do, everyday I'm with you. If I die today, I hope you remember me.


We both knew I would not live forever. I'm not like you, my love.


If you asked me to be, if you had ever asked me to be what you are, to be with you until the world ended and Judgment day came.... I would have said yes faster than a heartbeat.


Yet you have not asked. You have dreaded asking me. For seven years, you could not ask me to be like you. And I was afraid to ask you. God, we were both so afraid. Even in our bravest moments, even when together we thought we could do it all; even then we were afraid.


But maybe that's just the nature of love. To fear losing what you can no longer live without.


I'd rather die than live without you. But don't misunderstand me, my lord Finn.


I cannot lie: I am afraid for my soul. But, that, oh, that I have always been. I was always afraid for my soul. What sinner isn't?


No. I love you, Finn. With every bit of my soul, I love you. I love the life we have now, even when I know it will not last for much longer. The dream is almost ending, and we must wake up. Still, a poor lost sinner can hope, can he not? And god, Finn, I hope I see you again. Even if it's just one moment, just once, even if it is in another life. God, I wish we could have had more time. More life, we waited so long to start it, didn't we? I suppose that is the curse of having anxious hearts.


But still, there is more to my love for you. I think I love the man I've become because of you almost as much. I was so scared, Finn, so scared and angry when I met you. But today?

Today I stood before my uncle, before my God, and I told them the truth. Today I was not ashamed to be me, my Finn. I may still be afraid of what comes next, for what man does not fear death and the fires of hell?


But I trust in my love for you. I trust in the changes we have been able to make together. And, I trust in my God to understand, even if his holy man cannot, that our love, it could never be wrong...


They asked for my confession. My admission of guilt and shame. Should I give them that satisfaction? I think not. It might have saved me, if I did. If I dragged your name and our love through the mud, they might have let me live. But God! What a horrible life that would be. I could never live knowing I had betrayed you in such a manner. I could never do it. I don't think my lips would ever allow me to forsake you like that.


If I had not met you, if I had not-if I did not love you now as much as I do. Then, perhaps, I would have been afraid enough, coward enough to give them what they asked of me.


But you have changed me, my Finn. And I have changed you. We both know it. And by god, I'm glad for it. I would do it again, and a thousand times over. Even knowing what would come out of our love, the threats we now face. I would have still chosen to love you.


I will carry you with me for as long as I live. And, although I wished you would do the same, I must beg you to live, Finn. Use your eternity to do some good, just as we have done here. Do not let it go to waste all because you are afraid.


You are not a monster, my dearest lord Finn. You are kind, caring, and beautiful. And if I go to Heaven today, I shall pester God until He makes sure you are happy, my love.


I wrote this in the paper they gave me to write my confession. It seemed fitting. I have no shame to write down. I have no regrets, apart from not having more time with you.

I do regret not being able to think of prettier words to write for you. But, as we both know all too well, I am a gardener, not a poet.


Yet, now, I must confess to something, must I not?


Well then, I confess that I love you, Finn. I confess that if I leave this place alive, I shall go running to your arms. And I confess that if I live, I will find a way to be with you, a way for us to be happy at last and for as long as we can.


I promise I will do it. With all the love I have in my heart, I promise we will find each other. We will find a way to be happy again.

This is my confession.

With all my love,

Francesco del Monte.


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A/N: Please remember to vote and tell me in the comments what you think! Also is the spacing between the paragraphs weird for everyone or is it just to me? Like there a lot of extra space between the paragraphs?

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