Little Roger Barnes

Being truthful

TW: Self-harm, mention of ED,bullying

When your parents told you it was time for dinner you got up then got your Papa to carry you. It wasn't something you had asked him to do in a long time but you had, had an especially bad day.

Your Papa carried you to outside the door of the dining room and then put you down. You opened the door and walked to the same seat you always sat on.

You felt uncomfortable you weren't wearing a hoodie or long sleeves on your arms they were entirely visable. The Avengers were looking at you almost staring. You thought about saying something as your Dad's sat down next to you and so you just dropped it.

You were given a serving of dinner, you looked at really not wanting to eat. You stood up and began to leave.

'Wait Y/N you don't have to eat but can you stay in here until Papa and I finish.' Bucky said looking back at you. You walked back to your parents and sat back down.

You looked around the table at everyone who were still trying not to stare you were bored and felt like being a pain so you said, 'you know it's impolite to stare.' You didn't like being stared at and you were no longer that upset after realising no one blamed you. At that moment the Avengers had never seen you be quite so much like Steve.

Everyone began to finish their meals and Wanda put yours in a leftovers box for another time. 'You alright kiddo,' she said looking into your eyes.

'Yeah I'm doing better,' you said looking at Natasha. She smiled back at you with a face that said 'I love you kid.'

Your parents finished eating and went to help clean up. You asked Natasha to go upstairs with you and told your Parents what you were doing.

You went into your bedroom and then you looked at Nat and sat on your bed.
You sighed and began to speak, 'it wasn't just my arms, my stomach and upper leg too.' You said then averting eye contact.

'No one asked so I didn't say anything but I knew I needed to.' You said still avoiding looking at her.

'Come down to the lab with me Y/N and I will tell your parents to meet us there ok Y/N.' Nat said calmly.

'Jarvis tell Steve, Bucky and Bruce to meet us in the lab please.' Nat then said as you stood up.

'Yes Miss Romanoff.' Said Jarvis.

You walked down to the lab with Natasha. Once the two of you were there waiting for your parents and Bruce nat asked, 'Do you want to show me before you show anyone else?'

'No, I'm good.' you said anxiously waiting for your parents.

'Alright,' she said looking at you caringly.

Soon your parents arrived, 'what is it Nat why do you need us?' Asked Steve.

'When Y/N and I went upstairs she told me she had more cuts on her upper legs and stomach.' Natasha told them.

You avoided eye contact. You didn't wait to be asked and lifted your shirt revealing your scrawny body covered in many, many cuts.

Bruce then began to speak, 'I have to go do some emergency work just use the cleaning stuff I left on the side to clean them and bandage them up she should be fine.' Said Bruce then leaving you and your family alone.

'Ok doll who do you want to clean your cuts?' Your Dad asked you.

'Daddy can you,' you said now revealing the cuts on your legs also.

Bucky picked up the cleaning stuff and began cleaning your cuts.

'You were very brave telling Nat that you had more you know Y/N.' Said Steve. He was treating you like a child and mind you were very much a child but, you hated being treated like one. As such though he was your father you weren't going to act snarky today.

Nat had been looking you up and down for a while and became a little concerned noticing you were unhealthily thin but she decided you were just a kid and it was probably nothing and brushed it off.

Eventually, Bucky finished cleaning and bandaging your cuts and said, 'ok Y/N all done now let's go get ready for bed.'

You went back up to your bedroom got ready for bed and your parents tucked you in. Just as your Papa was leaving you said, 'Papa, stay please.'

Steve came and sat next to you as you slowly drifted to sleep.

You and your Papa slept peacefully for hours before your night terrors began once again.

Your nightmare

'Time for school Y/N and you better not be bothered by anyone you have no reason to be upset with people being honest.' Said Bucky shaking you awake.

You were confused this wasn't reality was it. Nonetheless you got up and got ready. Next thing you knew you were at a school outside of the class room.

Lots of kids much bigger and older than you began surrounding you closing in yelling, 'Weak! Baby! Dwarf ! Ugly! Midget! Fat!'

Just as you were about to be hit you woke up.

Back to reality

You were breathing heavily you badly needed a distraction but you were still in your Fathers arms and knew you couldn't move without waking him. The children's voices filled your head as you began to cry. You couldn't stop you were freaking out every time you blinked they were getting closer and closer. You didn't mean to but you woke up your Papa. Suddenly you felt him hug you tighter and say, 'shhh, shh baby it's ok Papa is here no one can hurt you.'

You calmed down a little and hugged into your Papa, 'they were attacking me Papa,' you said quietly stopping crying feeling safe in his arms.

'Everytime I close my eyes they get closer ready to swing like I'm a punching bag.' You said.

Your Papa gaped in horror at what you were telling him. 'People attacked you baby is that why you got in fights.' He said looking at you sadly.

'Not at first,' you said crying and stumbling over words. 'B-but this term I couldn't take them attaking me any longer I-I fought back. I stopped getting attacked only because they realised I was better than them. But I can never stop thinking of that.' You said upsetly.

You finished speaking and your Papa was speechless he couldn't say anything at all. You could tell he was trying hard not to cry. You felt awful and began blaming yourself.

Eventually you fell asleep again but your Papa could not.