Little Roger Barnes

Drugs

TW: drugs

No one bothered trying to get you again but you were annoyed and upset your mind was trailing. You sat on your bed and thought eventually you looked at the clock 5:30 dinner was in an hour. You badly wanted a distraction and then you remembered your drugs.

You checked no one was around before opening your bathroom door. You went into the bathroom and locked the door. You got out one of your packets and left the others in the hiding place. You inhaled them and wanted more. You waited a few minutes.

You had enough in your supply from what you had bought and took home from school to get you very, very high more than once. You didn't need much too get high what you had already done had made you high. You were a tiny kid and very little got you there. You still wanted more though.

Soon you got out another and inhaled it too. You stopped after that one you couldn't think straight but you didn't plan on killing yourself.

You left your bathroom hoping that Jarvis hadn't gotten suspicious and told someone. You sat on your bed feeling free amazing and yet awful at the same time.

Nothing was clear and you couldn't tell time was passing. Next thing you knew you were being called for dinner.

'Alright,' you said trying your best to hide the fact you were high.

You went into the dining room and sat down but, not in your usual spot next to your Dad's. You had thought as strategically as you possibly could , not next to Nat, or your Dad's and definitely not Wanda.

You ended up sitting next to Clint and Tony you had decided that they would be the least likely to realise anything off  about you.

You ate quickly hoping to leave after that but Bruce then said, 'Y/N what about your meds, come on you haven't drunk anything all day you need to drink.'

You knew he was right but you were not going to take your medication.

'Come on Y/N it's for your own good it will help you.' Nat said trying to look you in the eyes but for obvious reasons you were avoiding eye contact.

'I'm good thanks.' You said.

'Y/N you need to take the medication.' Said Steve sternly.

'пожалуйста Y/N, это для вашего же блага.' (Please Y/N it's for your own good) said Bucky.

'I don't need drugs I'm already high enough.' You said then immediately realised what you just said.

'What!?' Steve said outraged.

'I'm kidding it was a joke ,' you said trying to laugh it of. now nervously biting the inside of your mouth.

'посмотри на меня Y/N, посмотри на меня прямо сейчас.' (Look at me Y/N, look at me right now) said Bucky.

'N-no.' You said terrifiedly.

'посмотри на меня!' He said in a more stern voice then you had ever heard.

You still didn't you went silent. Steve walked over to you and moved your face to look at his. His grasp was too strong you couldn't fight back. He made you look right at him.

He looked into your eyes and then muttered, 'dialated pupils.'

'Your high Y/N.' He said,
'Your pupils are dialeted.'

'No shit Sherlock,' you said sarcastically.

'What the fuck, Y/N, what the fuck.' Steve said. 'This is a no better way to deal with things than self harm, actually this is worse you could kill yourself.' He said Angrily.

'That's the point.' You said accidentally then realising that you were saying what you were thinking.

'Take the medication now Y/N, it's for your own good and you clearly need it!' Steve demand handing you the glass.

'Where the hell did you even get drugs from you haven't left the compound in weeks.' Steve exclaimed.

'I had them with me when I got here.' You said knowing he would just keep asking if you didn't tell him.

'We will finish this later Y/N for now you are going to take that medicine.' Said Bucky trying to calm Steve down.

Everyone was watching you either completely shocked or outright disappointed in you.

You knew you weren't getting out of this and took a mouthful of the water. You put the glass down and a tear fell down your face. You slowly finished the water and not saying anything you went back to your room.

You realised you had done something really dumb. You should have talked to someone maybe taking medication wasn't so bad.

You went into your bathroom and got out all of your drugs. You held them in your hands and waited for your parents.

Soon enough your parents cane in your Papa began to talk, 'Look Y/N I'm really sorry I yelled,' He began.

'No, Papa you had every right to yell I did a really dumb thing and I should have talked to some one. I guess I'm just addicted to the way it lets me escape.' You said interupting him.

'Here is everything I had left,' you said handing your Papa your pile of drugs.

'How much did you have today Y/N?' Your dad asked.

'Three of those,' you said.

'Okay, is there anything else you need to give or tell us?' Your Dad asked with a look that said I will find out if your lying.

You went back into your bathroom to behind the pipe and pulled out two packs of cigarettes. You went back into your room and gave them to your Dad.

'I'm sorry, I really am, I promise this is it, I know your disappointed. You have every right to be I've been an idiot, but I just can't stop hating myself this made it go away.' You said anxiously the biting hard into your cheeks.

You suddenly tasted blood and stopped.

'Y/N after today I am sorry but we are not leaving you by yourself at all, there will always be someone with you. And we need to find you some good coping mechanisms.' Said your Papa.

You nodded.