Cognitive Deviance

72. One Percent

October 25, 2045 - 10:10 PM

Carl studied the ashy flakes of snow as they pelted his car windows like pebbles. Waves of light from the city beyond his vehicle came and went, bathing him in blue, pink, and white before washing back out. The volume of his radio was so low, the music went over his head like trivial chatter, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Carl Maslow, Psychwatch officer, the man who could save everyone but his own family.

Maybe they weren't worth it, he thought. They'd crossed too many lines and exceeded the point of saving. Maybe they were rabid dogs, wounded soldiers with their limbs blown off and every sense destroyed. He pondered if they'd deserved such apathy only to remember a quote he'd heard from an old movie he'd seen with his father: "Deserved ain't got nothin' to do with it."

"There's not a single person in this world," Carl said, "who hasn't been hurt by something beyond their control. I guess life is fair like that, after all."

"And yet," Loki said, "it fucks up some people more than others. Look at us."

"Look at us?" Catalina repeated. "We're alive! That's a privilege, mi amor."

"Not in this world, it's not," Vince said.

"Holy shit, you finally said more than two words, Vince!" Loki exclaimed. "That's a new record."

Carl clenched his fingers, closed his eyes, and leaned back into his seat.

"Where are we even going anyway?" Loki said.

"I don't know," Carl muttered.

"You should get some rest, Carl," said Catalina. "You've earned some rest after today. I'm sorry you couldn't reconnect with Melanie, but I'm sure she'll come around someday. You did."

"I appreciate your faith in me, Catty. But I've become a reminder of her own trauma. I can't help her anymore. She has to help herself."

"That's how it is for everyone, mi precioso." With his eyes closed and the city of Philadelphia rendered a bright haze beyond the shroud that was his eyelids, Carl could feel Catalina's hand resting on his shoulder.

"This must be how Margo felt that evening," Carl said. "When she called about the break-in at her apartment."

"Until you answered her call," Catalina said. "Then we brought her into our home. You made a difference, Carl!"

"No, we made a difference, Catty." Carl tried to smile but felt his grin sink back down. "I just wish these differences we make lasted longer than they do."

"That's why you gotta keep doing it over and over. Like exercise."

Carl sat up in his seat, glancing out the window. The neon of Downtown vanished, and dilapidated buildings lined the road. All the lights came from apartment windows, bleeding through tattered curtains.

"Hey, Carl," said Loki. Carl imagined him slumped over in a chair, twirling his fingers about. "Is it true Melanie hates me?"

"I don't know, kid. I'd say you could ask her yourself, but..."

"Right, she doesn't want to talk to us ever again."

"We never should've talked to her in the first place," Vince muttered.

"We?" Loki repeated. "You don't do a lot of talking, dude."

"If only the same applied to you. Things were quieter when you weren't around."

The car came to a halt, and Carl glanced around at his surroundings. A shantytown welcomed him and his vehicle, the same empty streets and rundown projects lining the horizon. Behind him, he could see the lights atop the tallest skyscrapers in Philadelphia and holographic ads orbiting them like moons.