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𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗲🦋 >
𝘁𝘂𝗲 𝟮𝟮 𝗺𝗮𝗿, 𝟰:𝟯𝟱 𝗽𝗺
today's been hard, scottie.
i feel so out of place lately and all i want to do is talk to you.
i'm surprised none of my texts are being returned as unsent yet... i think that's the only thing that's keeping me smiling at the moment.
mum's starting to worry about me, i mean really worry about me. i don't mean to worry her, she just doesn't understand.
i haven't told her about our texts— or rather, my texts—she'd think i'd be doing myself more harm than good trying to talk to you. she won't understand that just the smallest fact of my texts being delivered gives me hope. you're giving me hope.
it's like you still care about me the way that i care about you. it's like i'll come home after saudi this weekend and you'll be there, at your spot on the sofa with that ethereal smile of yours just waiting to hear all about my weekend.
i know i'll never have you like that again but i can't let go of that feeling that one day, somewhere in the future, i'll get that back. get you back.
do you remember when i first asked you out? god, i was so nervous. it always made me wonder how i'd even convinced you to say yes.
jan 1st, 2015. 12:01 am.
right after the fireworks filled the tv screen, after all of our friends had crowded together to kiss each other's cheeks and wish each other well in the new year, and after i'd tugged you to the back of the group and kissed you the way i'd been wanting to kiss you for two years before that.
i was so lame, i don't know what you saw in me... but whatever it was, i'm glad it let me keep you for 6 years.
