Serendipity

Just thinking

I can feel when Tim falls asleep. His arm goes completely slack— occasionally twitching when my movements make him stir— and his breathing slows.

I can't believe I told him about that stupid fear of mine. I haven't even told Tai, and I used to tell him everything.

But...

I don't regret telling him.

He didn't laugh or make me feel dumb for being afraid. He just smiled and told me a funny story that somehow comforted me.

I sigh, and Tim twitches, his hand sliding out of my grasp and down to my stomach. I swallow, but his hand doesn't continue it's decent.

A clap of thunder makes me flinch, and Tim's presence calms me just as quickly.

I glance at my phone, resting on the floor by my bed, as I wonder what time it is. It's within reach...but if I move I'll disturb the dozing Tim.

Can I do it?

I weigh my options. Formulate a plan that's only interrupted by the flashes of lighting in the corner of my vision that startle me.

I can do this.

Carefully scooching away, I reach down and stretch my arm as far as it'll go. Just barely not enough.

I glance behind me to make sure Tim's still asleep, then pull a little farther away. Just enough to allow my fingers to brush the corner of the phone.

After several attempts, I manage to slide it close enough to grab and pick up.

I hold it close, then carefully scooch back against Tim, who sighs and mumbles something I can't hear and wraps his arm around me. His head curls close to mine, and his legs are tangled with my own. I can feel his steady heartbeat through my back, mingling in my chest with my own racing one.

I open my phone and see that maybe an hour and a half has passed since he came over. So we've been laying here for...ten minutes or so?

I smile.

Not that I mind. In fact, I've wished for this exact thing to happen for the past—

Actually, no. That number of days is embarrassing. I'd rather keep it to myself for now.

I open the camera app, then flip it around so I can see myself and Tim.

His eyes are closed, face serene, and his hair is an utter mess. But it somehow looks good on him, the mussed up style fitting perfectly with his soft cheekbones and pouting lips.

My finger relaxes slightly, and my screen blinks as it takes a photo.

Oops, I think. I should delete that.

Then I open it and stop.

I don't look terrible in this photo. And Tim doesn't either. In fact, we both look super relaxed and comfortable, and I can actually say that my hair doesn't look like a complete disaster.

I glance at Tim's face in the picture.

Maybe...I'll keep it.

For now.

---

I close my phone as Tim yawns and stretches leisurely. He opens his eyes drowsily and squints at me.

"Was I asleep?" He asks, glancing around the room. The storm has calmed by now, the thunder that still rumbles coming few and far between. Rain patters gently at the window, a calming background noise when not accompanied by the startling lightning.

"Yeah," I glance at the time on my phone. "For like a half hour or so."

"Aw, man," He mumbles, reaching around my waist and hugging me close. "Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I tilt my head to one side, looking at him from where I'm propped up against the headboard of my bed. I sat up after a while, because I was getting hot pressed up against Tim. He cranes his neck so he's looking up at me.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," He says, then chuckles. "It was supposed to be a break, not a nap."

"It's fine," I tell him, shaking my head. I reach over and run my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes briefly, leaning into my touch. "I don't and didn't mind."

"Good," He smiles. "Cuz if you keep this up, I'll probably do it again."

"What, fall asleep?"

"Yeah."

"Go ahead," I say, curling a strand of his hair around my finger. "Though I'll probably have to get up in a minute."

"Why?"

"I need to pee."

"Oh," He snorts, sitting up. "Then I'm sure me laying on your lap is definitely not helping."

I smile, shake my head slightly, and stand, brushing down my rumpled clothes quickly before making for the door.

"Have fun!" He calls after me. I blush.

"Weirdo," I mutter, hearing him laugh from behind me. I don't mean it in a mean way though. He's the good kind of weirdo.

After I'm done, I wash my hands and open the door, only to find myself suddenly mere inches away from Tim.

He grins cheekily at me and glances at my hands, still damp from my hasty drying.

"I just washed my hands," I tell him, feeling my face heat back up. "That's why they're wet."

He cocks an eyebrow. "No other reason, eh?"

"Uh—" I swallow. Wait, this wasn't where the conversation was going before....When did it shift into such an...awkward topic?

"I'm messing with you," He coughs a laugh at my expression, then bends down and leans his forehead against mine. The position is perfect for a k—

"Sorry," I say, pulling away and averting my eyes. Why am I thinking about that again?

I made up my mind a little while ago that if anyone's making any major moves, it's not gonna be me. After all, Tim rejected me, so chasing after him doesn't make any sense, especially if he doesn't want it.

"Are you okay?" He asks, genuinely concerned. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," I shake my head. "Just thinking."

He nods slowly. "Okay..."

There's silence between us for several seconds, then he breaks it again.

"Did I do something to make you uncomfortable around me?" He asks, frowning. He studies my face as I try to come up with an answer.

"No," I lean against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm really the opposite of uncomfortable around you."

"Really?" He tilts his head, green eyes worried. "Cuz you keep....I dunno....clamming up? And it's always whenever I get too close."

"I mean," I wince. "I know that's not helping my case, but....I'm honestly more comfortable around you than most other people." Then I blush, because wow that sounded sappy.

He smiles. "Well, I'm glad I didn't push you away."

Then he leans closer, as if testing how true my words are. I force myself to stay still and not flinch, but I think he notices, because he pulls away again.

"Just let me know if I cross any lines, alright?" He says, waiting for me to meet his eyes before emphasizing his words. "Any lines."

I nod. "I will."

"Good," He nods, apparently satisfied with my answer.