Serendipity

Maybe

"What?" I say. Not because I didn't hear him, but because I'm hoping I misunderstood. Liam rolls his eyes, annoyed.

"I'm inviting you to my birthday party," He repeats. "I'll text you the address. You can bring a plus-one."

"Why me, though?" I frown. "I thought you didn't like me."

"I don't have a problem with you."

"What about Sydney?"

"Eh," Liam purses his lips. "I don't care about him. Why, you wanna bring him?"

I'm not sure I want to bring myself, let alone Sydney. "I dunno."

"Alright, well, I'll text you, and come if you want," He sighs, as if I'm the one holding up his day. "See you."

"See you..." I stare at Liam as he trots down the hallway, pulling aside a group of girls chatting by the bathroom.

"What was that?" Sydney asks, and I flinch. I whip around to face him. "Was he bothering you?"

I laugh, half nervous and half bitter. "In a way."

"What'd he say?" He glances at Liam.

I sigh. "He wants me to go to his party."

The gasp that escapes Sydney's lips describes my mind right now perfectly.

"Did you say yes?" He asks quietly. I shake my head.

"I didn't get a chance to say anything before he walked off."

"Huh," Sydney sucks on the inside of his cheek. "Interesting."

Then the bell interrupts our conversation, and I sigh. "Thank god you're here now. I don't think I'd be able to survive a class by myself right now."

He smiles and brushes his hand against mine. Subtle, since we're in school, but I still appreciate the gesture. "I'll always be here." Then he laughs and blushes. "Wow, that sounded hella corny."

"It did," I agree, then nod my head in the direction of our class. He snorts and follows me.

His presence helps me focus slightly, but I still can't stop thinking about Liam's party. Why would he invite me? Do I want to go? I mean, probably not, but I still have to ask myself that anyways. Should I tell Sydney about the plus-one? Should I tell I'm hoping that if I have to go at all, he'll come with me? Probably not. Maybe. I don't know. Ugh.

He catches me staring at him and waggles his eyebrows. I blow him a kiss. He blushes.

I can't tell him. He'll probably feel obligated to come with me even if he ends up hating every second of it. And then maybe something bad would happen...

Then I feel his knee gently bump against mine, and it sends my thoughts spiraling again.

I have to. I can't. But what if he gets upset that I didn't invite him? What if, if I do invite him, he gets upset I would even offer for him to be around Liam. But what if I go, and then he finds out, and he never talks to me again? Too many possibilities. I should probably not talk at all. Don't tell him anything.

Yeah, that'll work.

---

It doesn't work.

The Gang gets the answers out of me within the first five minutes of sitting down.

But, thankfully, Sydney doesn't look mad. If anything, he's laughing about how terribly that party would definitely go if he was there, and overall taking it much better than I thought.

I really should have some more faith in him.

Still, I have to ask him again after school while we walk home.

"You're not mad?"

He turns to look at me. "Why would I be?"

"I dunno," I chew on my lip. Then I wince and run my tongue across it, tasting blood. I really should stop biting my lip, too. "But you swear you aren't?"

"Swear," He nods. "But— just out of curiosity— do you think you're gonna go?"

I pause. He glances back at me and stops walking too.

"I don't...know," I say, testing the words. I meet his eyes. "I'm not sure I'd want to go alone."

There's a beat of silence, and for that moment I think I forget how to breathe. Sydney blinks.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go," He says slowly. "Is that what you're implying?"

Breathe, Tim. Oh yeah, right. Gotta do that.

"Maybe." Wow, I sound remarkably calm. Somehow.

He inhales. "Okay...well, let me think for a bit. When's the party?"

"A week." I should probably blink too. Yeah. There we go. Super natural. It's not a big deal, Tim. Keep... blinking. And breathing.

"Yeah," Sydney sucks in his right cheek as far as it'll go, then smacks his lips. His voice is tight. "I'll think about it."

"You're not mad, right?" I ask. Somehow I feel like he's mad.

He shakes his head. "Not mad." He takes a step forward and gently pats my chest. His hand lingers for a moment, then falls back to his side. His eyes meet mine. They don't...look mad...but I can't really tell. "See you later?"

"...Yeah."

Then he turns around and walks towards his house, which turns out to be just a few yards down the sidewalk. And a few seconds later, the door slams, and Sydney's gone.

I start walking again, but I feel myself hunching my shoulders slightly as I pass his house. I can tell I messed up somehow.

And I know I fucked up even more when he doesn't text me back, or return my calls, and when he doesn't come to school the next two days. Tai interrogates me on everything I did and said to him, but eventually gives up, since he apparently can't see what I did or how to fix it either.

Heather tells me she texted him that night, but he just said he needed some space, and she hasn't heard back from him since.

All of it makes me want to pound my stupid head against a brick wall.