Self Control [Carlisle Cullen]

4

"words fail to describe
what i feel anymore,
let me be numb for a while,
let me be sore..."

- Anjum Choudhary

Exhausted and as thirsty Anna stumbled to the big kitchen island that was turned into a messy bar.

Bottles of all sorts of alcohol were scattered over the table, just like red plastic cups, shot glasses, napkins, lemons and all kinds of other stuff. It was one big mess. Grabbing a red cup, not caring if it was already used or not, Anna filled it up with the first type of alcohol she could get her hands on.

Filling the cup halfway full, she brought it to her lips and drank it as if it was water. Maybe it would've been better to have some water. The world was spinning around her, Anna's legs felt like they were made out of jelly.

Shit, she drank way too much.

"I'm gonna go outside for a while," she told Heather, whom was dancing against some frat boy she'd never seen before. Heather waved her hand at Anna, gesturing that she didn't care what she was doing.

Anna's make-up had run out a little because of the sweat. Drops rolled down her back and neck and the loud music, Eminem this time, made her ears ring.

As soon as she got outside, Anna took a big breath of air inside her lungs. Shivering she shook her arms to become a little loose. It was so fucking cold after the heat of the party. The rain had stopped, turned into a flutter around her, like mist falling down oh so softly.

A boy beside her handed her a cigarette. "Want one?"

Anna shook her head. "I only smoke weed."

He laughed. "There's tobacco in joints, too, you know," he told her.

"I'm Dutch, don't tell me anything about weed. I've been doing it since I'm fifteen," she spat out at him and he laughed some more.

"Dutch, huh? So you're an international student at the Uni? I rather thought you were German," he pointed out her accent. Even after living here for nearly a year, you could still hear the accent.

In the Netherlands you learned English at a very young age. But you'd never get an English, or even American, accent. You only got that if you took special courses after high school. Anna was too lazy to do so. Her English was perfectly fine.

"Everyone thinks I'm German," she sighed and leaned against the wall beside him. "We sort of sound the same, I guess."

"Can you say something in Dutch?"

Anna rolled her eyes and pushed herself back to her feet. She didn't feel like having this conversation. It was useless and hated it when people treated her like some entertainment monkey. Say this, say that, can you roll a blunt for me?

"I think I'm gonna stand over there," she shared and looked him dead in the eye, "alone."

The boy turned red because of the shame and Anna strolled away from him, not able to walk into a straight line.

Standing at the edge of the sidewalk, she breathed in deeply and blew her air out slowly. The party behind her vibrated and was tempting her to go back inside.

Anna looked over her shoulder and felt a sudden nausea come up. She had too much to drink. She had lost Tony in the crowd and Heather was having fun with someone tongue.

"Fuck it," Anna mumbled to herself and stepped onto the road, ready to cross it and walk to a quieter place to call an Uber to take her home.

Anna was barely aware of the boy screaming behind her, not hearing what he said. Didn't care. She just wanted to go home.

Bright lights on her left made her look up, confused. Frozen, like a deer in the headlights, Anna watched the car trying to stop in front of her. She could hear the brakes and suddenly, she realised she had to do something.

Jumping out of the way, Anna landed halfway on the sidewalk she was trying to reach in the first place. Ugly she fell and felt her head bang nasty against the pavement.

The driver, the car had stopped apparently, came running. "Oh my God, oh my God, I've killed someone," she was shouting and the woman kneeled besides Anna.

"The fuck you didn't," Anna moaned and tried to get up.

"Jesus Christ, kid, you scared me to death," the woman said flustered and with shaking hands she called an ambulance. "You have good reflexes for someone so wasted."

"Years and years of practice," Anna said laughing, even though she bled all over the ground.

Carlisle will be in the next chapter! :)