STAY (harry styles)

Chapter-3

Harry's pov:

"Being broken" I know how it feels. It feels like her not responding to my calls. It feels like not finding her belongings anywhere in my house. It feels like the knock on the door that never happened. It feels like the jingling of her car keys I didn't hear.

I didn't wanna believe what my eyes were seeing but that was the truth.

she was gone.

She left.

Leaving me behind.

Leaving me alone.

Leaving me all by myself.

She left without thinking of me.

What she left was her memories in my head which were gonna be there forever cause she was imprinted in my mind.

It belonged to her.

because it was filled with all the moments I spent with her and all I thought was about her. All my nights were hers and all my days were hers. I was so head over heels for her that I couldn't concentrate on anything else when she was with me except her. Sometimes I got so lost in her eyes that I had no idea what she was saying, the way her lips moved when she spoke and the expressions she gave. I used to wonder how could someone be that perfect.

But Allison was and she was mine. I used to think how did I get so lucky.

But in reality she was never mine.

I thought she would return.

she would show up at my door the same old way she would laugh so hard seeing my face "did you like my prank baby look at your face" she would say. Her laugh would echo in the living room on one of the jokes. Her clothes will be in my closet, on the couch, on my bedroom floor.

But it never happened.

Because she never returned.

Days passed which then turned into months.

And after waiting for her for a whole year.I accepted that she would never return but it didn't mean that I ever got over her. Even though she wasn't here, she was still everywhere. When I opened the bottle of wine that evening I poured two glasses instead of one. When I was pretending that I was watching the notebook I heard her sob and then her face came in front of my eyes, those blue eyes. "Awww babe don't cry I love you" I used to say and use to say "I love you too"

Why did she say so if she never meant it?

Did she not know what I would do without her?

Did she really never loved me?

She never did and therefore she left.

My mind says so but my heart disagrees and seriously I don't know whom to listen as much as I wanna go with my mind somewhere I knew she loved. It could be seen in her eyes. The way she used to rest her head upon my chest and tell me all about her dreams. How she used to kiss me and how she used to hug me tight on a rainy night because she was scared of lightning cause she felt safe and loved.

What did I do wrong?

She should've told me the truth. We would've made it work but she decided to leave with just a letter as an explanation I guess. I never opened it, not on that night. Not that week. Not that month. Not that year.

As much as I want to hate her for doing this to me I can't. I tried and I failed miserably. Even the thought of "her not loving me" makes my heart ache.

The pain that will never go.

Is there forever.

And I have to learn how to live with it.

In the short time we spent she got me so addicted to her. There is not even a single day when I don't think about her cause remember she's everywhere still.

Even after four years.

And so here I am again sitting on the couch with my I don't know which glass.

I lost the count.

New record.

FLASHBACK:

"Babe" I said entering her room she was sitting on her bed reading her book. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and I suddenly got worried "what happened ?" I asked rushing towards her "this boy in the book" she managed to say and I hugged her "what about him?" I asked, smiling "he died.... For saving this girl" and she hugged me tighter "his childhood love" she said and I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. "Harry" she whined pushing me away and whipping her tears "what? You're crying because the boy died in the novel. "She gave me a glare and said "well people have emotions okay ""oh my baby" I said and hugged her again this time pushing her on the bed gently so now I was on top of her and she just chuckled. Nuzzling my head in the crook of her neck taking in her scent. I could never get enough of how good she smelled."Well I'd die for you too" I said "oh really" this time she laughed out loud "yeah you think I am joking?" I said and then attacked her face with kisses, not giving her time to answer.

She probably thinks I am kidding but I am not.

You are worth it Allison.

You are my everything Allison.

This is how much I love you Allison.

"Harry" she managed to say between the kisses and chuckling and panting cause now she was out of breath "I lov-"

FLASHBACK OVER

I woke up breathless looking around. It was a dream but it felt real. It felt like she was here.

But she wasn't.

I stood up from the couch stretching and thinking how I would pass the day. Because I don't have (Y/N) with me.something about her is special. There were many girls there but when I saw her something happened.

Something I have felt before.

My heart says that I like (Y/N) but my mind disagrees again.

They are always opposite to each other and again I don't know which way to go. I am tired of being at the crossroads.

I am done.

I can't do this.

I can't decide what to do.

(Y/N)'s the present and Allison was my past. I want to live in the present but I can't let go off my past. I can't get over it.

It's my problem

I have to make a decision.

I will.