The Finding

21

I miss you, I'm sorry - Gracie Abrams

Theo

I'm not sure what happens, I couldn't really see what was happening between the yelling and the loud gunshots that hurt my ears.

What I did feel was sudden hotness. Just like a burning sensation. Nothing over the top but It was hot.

I look at Mason, making sure he was okay and luckily he was. 

"Theo," he began and I look at him in confusion, my throat feeling tight. I cough, red wetness covering my hand. 

Was I shot? 

Looking down at my stomach, the yellow shirt I'd been wearing begins to dampen in blood, "Oh."

It explained the sudden change in temperature. Shit. I sit down in front of Theo, my throat still feeling tight.

"I need you to take the bullet out. It's the only-." I cough more. Mason rushes towards me. "It's the only way I can attempt to heal," nodding my head in reassurance. 

I can smell their scent closer. Yelling and more fighting is occurring but I can smell Liam and Stiles and Scott. 

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Help!" Mason screams as I take my shirt off, blood spilling down my waist. Pressing the shirt to my stomach, I wince and try my hardest to keep breathing past my metallic covered throat. 

There are moments where I don't feel anything, and then the pain returns and I feel at a loss of breath all over again. 

Definitely did not dream of dying in a basement again- or wherever the hell we were. 

Mason is still at my side, "Mason, please you have to, please," I beg and he's wide eyed, tears in his eyes as he's battling himself inside. So much pain that he's been through, I couldn't really put dying on the list of trauma he's gained from being taken.

That'd be a shitty move.

His hands grab my shirt and throws it to the side. "It's gonna hurt," he began wearily. "It's okay just take it out," I nod my head for what feels like hours.

Shutting my eyes tightly, color seems to explode in my vision and I can't help feel the sense of calmness again. 

Until Mason finally get's the balls to take the bullet out. 

"Fuck!" yelling in pain. He gags but doesn't stop until the sound of the metal hits the floor. 

I don't know if it's the amount of blood I lost or the sudden rush of coldness that goes through the room, but the pain suddenly feels ten times more worse. 

"Theo!" I hear Liam's voice and that's when I allow myself to pass out. He found us, more importantly he found Mason. 

I could go knowing that his plan worked for the most part, even if I didn't wake up in a few hours.

It's funny because I spent so much of my life questioning beliefs. Questioning whether god was real or if there was anything about heaven or hell. 

Not much to put faith in with the life I've endured. 

And for the first time in forever, I find myself wishing and- dare I say- praying. Not necessarily to magically start breathing again, but for more selfish reasons being.

I wanted this horrid metallic taste gone from my memory, I wanted the burning to stop, the warmth to greet my body again. I wanted the end to come.

All of this just made me realize everything I didn't have that Liam filled. 

So, in light of such dark moments, I should say goodbye right? I'd prefer to do so in person but in my mind will have to do. Hopefully he get's the letter when- if I wake up but for now this will replace.

Dear Liam, baby pup,

This is kinda a shitty way to say a non-certain goodbye but hopefully you understand. What matters is that you're okay now. You found us. I'm proud of you in ways I probably won't be able to tell you. There are no words that I can think of to describe when we were together. Nothing compares to the amount of happiness and at peace you brought me. Nothing in this fake mind letter will amount to the words I wish I could tell you. The memories I still wish to make. And I could talk- or write- or whatever, for hours on end about you and your impact but nothing will ever be able to amount to how I see you and Love you.

And I'm so sorry for the pain I've ever put you through. 

because I really fucking love you Liam Dunbar.

-

*not edited

Hey guys <3. So, I've decided to end the book here. I want to say I really sorry for not updating for like over a year. I've never felt this drained and sad and I'm just trying my best to cope. I'm not trying to guilt anyone, I just want to help you understand. 

Thank you for sticking around despite my very bad updating schedule, my writing has changed hugely- I'd like to think at least. Once again thank you so so much for all the reads, with all my heart I wish you all the best and much love <3