𝖋𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙𝖞 𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖘 • 𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔬 𝔵 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯

part4

•i feel like this is sorta less YAS than usual sorry i was kinda sleepy while writing this towards the end but i kindof love the story and i love hearing u guys say you like it so i just had to put another one out there!!!! i hope u like it, tomorrows chapters will be better my litte oily boys i promise <333•

"i'll see you later camilo! meet me in town tomorrow again like yesterday?" i asked but also sort of told him, y'know?

"yeah! ill see you tomorrow!" he says, and he starts walking back to his casita, after he walked me home. i open my door, barely getting in before my dad shoves his face in mine.

"soooooooooo.......you like him?! omg imagine if like imagine if like i had a MADRIGAL SON! thatd be so cool wouldnt it!?" my dad rambles.

" papa. i have known him, for like, a day." i deadpan "and i admit, he is cute, but like, what if he turns out to be a freak?" i think about it for like a second longer, and come to the conclusion that'd be kinda hot. maybe i should be in love with him, a hot psycho freak boyfriend. Or maybe im the psycho freak. Maybe he thinks thats hot too. thatd be hot. Mmm 2 hot boyfriends who are psycho freaks. yes please.

" he literally has powers, hijo. is that not the definition of freak? not normal?" he asks, trying to convince me to fall in love with him, when that is obviously not how it works.

"perhaps it is but also like at least let me get to know him for like a month before making out with him? what even is your goal here when i am literally gay. you wont get any kids. there are no children popping out of me!" i ask, laughing

"my goal is to see my hijo happy with a good boyfriend! i dont want you marrying any strange guy when there is a perfectly good boy there, who is literally special! and his family are sweethearts, how do you get a horrible person out of a family of sweethearts? you dont! he's a nice boy!" he seems frustrated now, but i feel like he also does see this as a funny situation.

"if you know that, do you not think i do too? i think he's great aswell but its not like any old person is gonna stroll up to him and get any closer to him than i will,  and if he does get taken by someone else, at least he'll be happy! i just dont wanna be into someone who is a complete stranger!" i retort, "and i dont wanna talk about this for any longer, i am not having a conversation with my 50 year old father about my love life." i walk past him and go to my room, abit frustrated, but amused.

"46! not 50!" he shouted up the stairs.

"round it up!" i shout back.

anyways ZzZzZz timeskip they did normal family things like eat and sleep or whatever yas

i wake up, less energised than usual. it wasnt a great energy morning for me, but that's probably because ive done more in the past 2 days than in my entire life. It'd be funny if that was exaggerated but it really isnt. I sit in my bed for awhile, trying to give myself a pep talk to get up, because i was supposed to meet camilo, but really all i want to do is cry.

haha #relatable.

who am i kidding i am literally talking to myself in my own head of course its relatable.

i roll onto my side that faces the wall and i huddled in my blanket. perhaps if i just like, cry for a little bit, ill go see camilo later on? i dont want to see him at all in the mood im in but i told him i would and i cant ghost him that would be rude ugh why am i such a good person who is also very hot and sexy !! it is so inconvenient that i am so great. Anyways. Back to CRYING.
i sob. lots. for the next 2 hours. do we go into why? mayhaps.

(feel free to skip if u dont wanna hear why he's sad idk ill probs go into it with more detail later on in the story to camilo so its like romantic traumadumping 😍)

i dont think its really that important, but like i am sobbing because things are so hard when you have to pretend things are okay,while your dad is pretending things are okay, so you can help his pretending continue, so that he doesnt feel worse about showing his distress to his kid, and in turn make his distress worse, and it go into a loop, you know? it just like carries on
and on
and on.
and then if i was upset why would i tell my father who is also upset? so instead, i lock myself in my room and pretend i am oversleeping and then also undersocialising when i wake up. that's why i havent left my house in so long. because i also haven't really been leaving my room. i am struggling, and thats hard to admit. and, well, whats worse is that things dont stop there. there are reasons why im pretending things are okay, and reasons why things arent okay, but, alas, we do not have time for that today. thank you therapist. you are welcome, y/n.

ok no i am NOT pretending my own brain is my therapist that would be cringe haha. haha. id never. but like if i wad i would be a good therapist to myself, i know myself so well.

i dont feel any better after crying. do you suppose a dose of camilo would brighten my day? or would i just break down to him, and do i even want to take that chance? maybe i should just go back to sleep, but im hungry and i cant sleep when im hungry so like maybe if i eat i can make a decision.

you're so smart y/n. such a smart boy. mmm food.

i go downstairs, and since its about 1pm my dad knows not to bother me, so he doesnt say goodmorning, or, well, afternoon, so i just make myself food and then stand there, thinking.

maybe if i just go say hi and then tell him i feel ill after talking for abit? i just dont want this to turn into a REAL therapy session. he is my friend for like 2 days and im not tryna get therapy this early on. i dont even know his favourite colour! but on that note i bet its yellow but not like any yellow i bet its mustard yellow. he seems like a mustard yellow enjoyer, hes just weird like that. like literally no one likes mustard yellow but i bet thats part of the appeal for him, he wants to be different. he's such a theatre kid.

ya i think with the amount im thinking about him its probably best to just go see him and figure out how to leave. we will never speak about this to camilo it will make him feel unloved and he is loved but i am not in a loving mood.

i go to my wardrobe and find comfy clothes to go speak to camilo in, and find something comfy and abit reflective of my feelings today.

(you dont get a choice in outfits today L but also pretend its a guy wearing it i couldnt find any men ones that were like high waisted pants and low waisted is So ugly)

i still, as always, do my eyeliner. this pretty boy cant go anywhere without eyeliner, no matter if hes going to cry it off later.

i find a bag to match the fit again, because, well, bags bring outfits together. they just like, make things stand out more, like the spine on a book. when you see a pretty book and the spine is decorated, doesnt it look so much more appealing? yes. the answer is yes. anyways, lets go find camilo.

i walk out the door, and go into the market, and scan the grass field next to the plaza, looking for a familiar head of curls. like last time i saw camilo on the grass, but unlike last time, he was telling a story to the children, using his shapeshifting to tell the story.

huh, they really are immersed,

not just the kids either, camilo was interested in his own story, he didnt even notice me there.

•gah sorry if it sucks i forgot half the ideas for this chapter and didnt even write them in my notes!!! (╯°0°)╯my sleepy mind had to think of stuff on the spot!!•