Once Upon A Happy Beginning

Chapter Thirty: Smee!

Captain Hook

Royalty on my ship, huh? I've been to many a place but on all my voyages I can't say I've heard of this "Arendelle" – tough winter? Likely story. Oh, the bounty, those doubloons that I'd get from Her Majesty The Evil Queen if she knew I'd got imposter nobles aboard my Rolly Joger! Forget currency; gold, jewels, treasure, my nemesis' head on a stick!

Treason – treason!

Maybe I should ask about their dalliances with nobility, see if it lines up with wenches tales from early days apprenticing as maidservants. I'm a King as such, myself. Well, of the bloody Pan-demon's cursed isle but I was a King alright. Maybe 'King Charles' can commune about it? But he won't!

No, he will not!

He's no King and she's no Queen; I'll gladly kill the pair of them. If, Her Majesty wouldn't reward me so beautifully for letting her do it.

But... Maybe I'll let it slide. If they really do know where the Crocodile is, I can avenge Milah and finally seek justice for my trusty "left-hand man". Then, well riches be damned – I'll throw the pair into the Lost Lagoon myself!

"Smee!" I yell into my crowd of drunken crew, "Smee!"

"Aye, sir. Cap'n. Sir."

"Now, now, Smee. Go sort a cabin in the berth for our esteemed guests!"

"Aye, Cap'n! On it, sir!"

"Oh we get a cabin... interesting..." I hear so-called King Charles whisper to his so-called wife.

"Don't be so loud!" The lass interrupts. "Do you want to throw us off the plank?!"

The plank? Don't think so, Your Majesty, I'll cash in for the rewards.

"Well, I don't remember anything so... Ow, woman! I was lucky enough to avoid a wooden peg, don't need my wife to break my foot!"

"Well, maybe, you need to consider how we're going to find our daughter!" She hisses back.

What are they wittering on about? Oh well, I'm crazed on rum. "Here we are, Your Majesties. The Rolly Joger!" I gesture wildly at the painting on the side of my galleon.

T H E    J O L L Y    R O G E R

– my beautiful ship. The blonde stifles a laugh: if you weren't taking me to the bloody Crocodile!

The crew cheer as they run on board, we've not set sail in three days. "On we go, mates! Let's off and destroy my old friend the crocodile!" I turn to our travelling companions: "Head with me, ma'am. Sir."

"You're awfully polite, for a pirate." She tells me.

"Wasn't always one, Your Majesty. Used to sail in the King's Navy; Jewel of the Realm, she was. With my brother..." My voice falters for a moment, thinking of Liam. I might have been singing with the sirens but I think I saw Charles' eyes flash to my chest.

Could he? How would he? Why would he? Then his eyes flash to her bosom – more conspicuously so. Then to mine again. What's he doing? My hand strays protectively to the chain around my neck bearing Liam's ring, he watches intently and she grasps his hand and touches her own front faintly. He smiles and turns his attention back to me.

"Aye, well, my wife and I won't mention anything if you don't? Savvy?"

"You're no King are you... mate?"

"Aye. I'm Old Salt."

"You became King, did you now, mate?"

"Married the princess, I did."

"Must be a strong bounty on your lass then."

"None at all, actually. Mate. Now, I suggest you leave me and my wife to rest."

"Aye, sir."

I closed their door and hung about for a moment or two.

"What was that? Killian?"

Aye? Can she sense me?

He replies. "I slipped up! I know my old girl like the back of my... well, you know. It's hard to pretend I'm not well... him! I'm Captain Hook! I sailed the Jolly Roger! I ruled Neverland and lost my brother to it's cruelty! I spent centuries trying to kill the Crocodile! I'm him!"

What in the name of... it's the rum. I'm off with the sharks and I'm hearing things. Smee will be awaiting me in the poop deck.