What If...?

Chapter Seven

We got back to the house and Jasper helped me out of the car. He walked me to the front door and then walked back to the car so he could go to work.

"Bye!" I called.

"Bye!' he replied, driving away. I went inside and laid down on the couch. I had taken the day off work, and it felt good to be able to relax. Twin girls. It was amazing. I rubbed my stomach and smiled.

I didn't realize I had been sleeping until the keys in the door jolted me awake. I got up as fast as I could, on my feet just as Jasper came in the door.

"Hi," I said.

"Were you asleep?" he asked.

"I just took a little nap," I said, running a hand through my hair. Jasper came over to hug me. It felt good in his arms.

"Have you eaten?" Jasper asked, his lips against my neck.

"No," I said, shivering slightly at the contact.

He pulled back so that we were looking at each other eye to eye. His lips were then on mine, and we were both moving together, in harmony. We collapsed onto the couch, gently, so as not to jostle the twins. 

Jasper's hands moved up my back and he began to undo the zipper at my neck until my shirt had fallen to my lap. His fingers brushed against my spine and he began to undo my bra. My back arched, and pulled away, twisting slightly so that our lips were no longer locked.

I heard Jasper exhale, and he did my shirt up again. My eyes were still closed, my head turned away from him. His fingers were soft against my skin and then they were gone. He was gone. I opened my eyes, my lips still parted, and I saw that the kitchen light had been turned on. Making dinner.

I closed my eyes again, biting my slightly swollen lip. I waited in silence, doing nothing foralmost an hour. Then Jasper said hollowly from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready."

I got up with much difficulty and walked to the kitchen table. A beautiful pasta dish was waiting. I began to eat slowly. 

I looked up after a few moments and saw Jasper looking at me.

“It’s really good,” I said quietly.

Jasper looked down. “Are we ever going to be okay?” he asked.

I stared at my food.

“We’ve been married for years. We’re going to have twin girls. But are you never going to trust me again? Should we just get a divorce?”

I felt my stomach plunge. “No,” I said firmly.

“Then what?”

We were silent for long time, just eating. After a while, I heard Jasper put his fork down on his plate.

“I forgave you,” he said quietly.

“What?” I asked.

“When you told me that you had killed our child all those years ago… Without even asking me… I forgave you. It took me all of five minutes to gain some perspective and realize that our love for each other was so much more important than anything else. And now, after weeks and weeks of me apologizing and apologizing and trying to make it up to you… you just won’t. You won’t forgive me.”

“This is different… I did something years ago that I was paying the price for. I’d suffered for fourteen  years. You betrayed me!”

“Oh right, you’d suffered for fourteen years while I was being kept in the dark, not knowing about the child I could have had!”

“You said you forgave me! Clearly you still blame me!”