𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 (billie eilish)

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴 (𝒖𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚜𝚝 - 𝙿𝙾𝚅

"Charlie." Her soft and warm voice made me feel weak. I felt my knees tremble.

I mentally slapped myself; I knew better than to get my hopes up like that. "Is this real?" She reached out, her hand making contact with my face.

Her velvety hand gently caressed my cheek. It was a bit chilly, but it lit up everything inside me.

"Billie, I..." She shushed me, delicate fingers silencing my lips.

"Please, don't say anything," she murmured, closing the distance between us. Her voice was so calm, like I never shattered her heart into a million pieces.

She held my gaze, her hand still lingering on my cheek. She stared into my eyes, then down to my lips.

"Why the fuck did you leave me, Charlie?" She withdrew her hand, her expression shifting. Her eyebrows shot up, and the pain she had been concealing for the past few minutes was now unavoidable.

The only thing I could hear was the sound of my heart, shattering into a thousand pieces.

"I really fucked everything up, Billie. I never meant to hurt you; I was just trying to protect you."  Tears streamed down my face, soaking my cheeks, making it hard to even speak.

She looked at me, and after a few seconds, a smile played on her lips, and then came the laughter...

"I can't handle this shit right now; I'm way too high" she stepped away, and I reached for her hand. She shot me a cold, dead stare. She despises me.

"You're high?" I noticed a slight redness in her eyes, but I never would've guessed it was from weed. "How long have you been smoking?"

"Don't even try to act concerned now; it's just some fucking weed,"  she scoffed.

"But why, Billie?" I never would've expected her to start smoking, especially after all the crap she preached about drugs. I mean, I know weed isn't that big of a deal, but it's just... weird. Who the fuck am I to talk, anyway?

She shook her head, "You fucking left me... You broke my heart... And now, that I'm kind of glued back together, you appear here? Asking me a bunch of shit?" She sarcastically laughed.

"I just want to know if you're okay" I felt embarrassed, who do I think I am? I held myself, feeling small and so fucking stupid.

"Alright, you wanna know? I've had the worst year of my fucking life... But hey, It's okay! Because nobody knows, I just pretend that my life is fucking perfect... Why wouldn't it be? I have everything I've ever wanted... But, the truth is, the only thing keeping me afloat is this stupid shit."  She tossed the last of the joint to the ground, her face contorting into one of disgust.

I'm speechless. It's so hard seeing her like this.

"Don't feel sad for me, though... "This is just my way of fixing what you messed up, and at least that part ain't on you." She giggled and sniffed her nose.

Oh, my ocean blues, what have I done to you?

"Please, don't fucking tell my mom about this." She pleaded, eyeing my shirt.

"I won't. I promise" I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "We need to talk about it, Billie"

She ironically laughed. "Do we? We are long past that point. I don't think I could bear to be around you..." Ouch.