So Voldemort acquired a few children

Minnie McMomagall

They'd just started their third year a month ago, Nat called Remus cuddly wolfy around everyone who knew and nobody knew how the fuck she found out, but they did know that if Remus didn't want to be cuddled he best hide if he hears or sees her.

Minnie had noticed odd behavior with the Slytherin of her favorite trio of children. Hannah seemed to have noticed as well, Harry on the other hand was too thick to have noticed until Hannah asked what was going on with Nat.

Nat sighed, unaware of Minnie behind her "So last year after you got the entire school high the first time Dumbledore gave me detention after he held me in his lap for over an hour. When I got to detention the door to his office locked behind me almost immediately. He pulled me into his lap and had me sign the detention slip first thing. Then the detention slip changed to show it was actually a marriage contract. Between him and I because he was scared and I know about what he did to Grindelwald". Minerva was pissed and said "That motherfucker!"

All three kids turned in shock and Minerva asks "What all happened?" Nat simply says "Uh he makes me sit in his lap whenever we're alone and wear his shirts and he threatened me with more detentions if I didn't stop wearing the tights. He hooks his fingers in my underwear sometimes and when I stab him he thinks it's hot. He makes me clean the wound and I'm now aware that he is too muscly for an old man. He has a bloody four pack! And when I'm on my period, which he knows immediately when I'm on it just by looking at my face. He kneads my lower abdomen to help with cramps and he kisses me and he calls me my dear or my love. He has me hold Fawkes when he's in a burning day, Fawkes is adorable, he's such a good bird, such a handsome boy. When Lockhart pinned me to the wall in the classroom last year Fawkes clawed him up for it. Uh there's more but that's all I'll say for now"

Nat winces and bit her lip. Minerva said "I'm going to go grab Poppy and Severus and we're going to go slap the shit out of Albus, who wants to come?" All three kids raised their hands and followed Minnie.

Severus and Poppy ask "Minerva where are we going with the chaos trio?" Nat simply says "to go slap the shit out of my husband who tricked me into a marriage contract via a fake detention slip. Ooh we should get Professor Flitwick, he cursed Lockhart when he found out he pinned me against the wall!"

They retrieved Flitwick, who looked worried about Nat. Severus said "Nat, I hope you know I have to tell your Papa about this". Nat groaned "But Sev he's a yandere!" Severus rolls his eyes "how long have you been married?" Nat simply says "over a year now" Severus nods "exactly why I have to tell him".

When they got to the Gargoyle the Gargoyle saw Nat and said "your husband is up there" before leaving aside. Nat lead, knocking as she always does. Albus hums and says "come in, my love" Nat opens the door and walked in with the others. "So I decided to quit being quiet about our marriage." She said simply before walking over to Fawkes's perch. She held out an arm and the phoenix immediately hopped on before snuggling to her chest.  "Minnie overheard and she and a few others decided to have a word with you". She kisses the birds head and Albus scowls "can you not kiss Fawkes right now, you know it makes me jealous" Nat rolls her eyes "you're a baby, Minnie would you like to begin or shall we start with someone less homicidal so everyone gets a turn"

Nat hums "Harry you can go first"

Harry went off on him because Nat was his sister and he loved his sister's with every bit of him. Just as much if not more than he loved his boyfriend.

Next was Poppy who screamed for a solid ten minutes at him.

Then was Flitwick, who cursed him ten times while chewing him out.

Severus was angry calm "I don't think you know who's daughter Nat is, but you should know that the dark lord is going to be pissed with you for trying to claim what is his. I don't think you realize that when I die if I see you I will rip you limb from limb, knowing that I won't be as scary as Minerva or Hannah, but that I will at least get to hear you scream for mercy." Nat snorted before coughing out "Edgy" Severus looked at her with fond exasperation.

Next was Hannah, who tore him a new one, Poppy took her wand. Hannah had to be carried out by Harry.

Nat and Fawkes we're watching with amusment Then Remus Lupin walked up the stairs and saw the door open stopping Minerva mid cussing string.

"....uh what's going on?" Nat grins and says "Cuddly Wolfy! They're cussing out and cursing out my Husband, come watch with me, it's funny unless you want to join". Remus has a dark expression "I'm sorry, you're married, to whom?"
Nat simply says "Albus tricked me into signing a marriage contract, he disguised it as a detention slip after my sister made the entire castle high and he made me dance up to here with him because I know he used coercion charms on Grindelwald and that he killed his boyfriend and a bunch of other dirty little secrets he didn't want me telling someone of legal standing about, now because I'm his wife that danger is significantly less and I can't get him prosecuted for anything but abuse and I don't know if what he's done is considered abuse".

Remus took Minerva's turn before cuddling with Nat and Fawkes as they watched happily. Nat loved the way that Minnie was cussing him out, then the Scottish woman said "Remus take the bairn out of here, I love got a few things I need to say that I don't want to say in front of her".

Nat grinned "Ooh Minnie is mad" Remus took Nat and Fawkes and left.