𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙰𝚅𝙴𝙳 𝙼𝙴; 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝚁𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒

𝙴 𝙿 𝙸 𝚂 𝙾 𝙳 𝙴 #𝟷

First I wanted to say, that I wrote this book like a long time ago. So it isn't very good, but I still wanted to give it to you all. It will be a short fanfic from 18 chapters, and I'm sorry if it's bad. I still hope y'all love it

**

Only when he is gone, I dare to cry. Only when he is not home, I have enough power to express my emotions. Every day, when Giovanni, my boyfriend is off to his work, I let myself fall on the ground next to the counter, cry, cry til it's time for me to go clean the house. Or to make diner when he is almost coming home. Every day, it takes much time to cover all my bruises, scratches and scar, he gave me, when I didn't made his favorite food or when I said I wasn't in the mood for you know what.

Every normal girl would have left a guy like this a long time ago, but I can't, I'm too scared. And when I say scared, I mean real scared. When he comes home and he isn't in a good mood, he throws me against the wall, until I give him his beer and food. Giovanni, he ruined me, he ruined everything that was good about me. Sometimes, when my best friend, or actually only friend Thomas calls, I need to come up with an excuse, because I feel so ashamed and scared about my scars.

My normal and usual excuses for everything are the regular things. "I'm very busy cleaning the house, "I'm sorry, yesterday I got sick". Every time I lie, I feel bad, Thomas is my only friend, and he could be the only one to help me out of this hell, if I had the guts to tell him. You may think I'm overreacting, but last week, I was doing the laundry, and I accidentaly washed his working pants too high. He got so angry, so he beated me up against the wall. Bleed was leaking out of a wound in my cheek, and when he dropped me, and left, I was even to scared to breath, or make any other noise again.

You might ask why I started dating this asshole in the first place. Well, let's just say he was the hottest kid in high school, and he asked me to prom, and to be his girlfriend, how could I say no. But it might would have been very smart to dumb him, when he asked to move in with him. Especially because I had no idea how violent her was, and how mad he could become.

Right now, I'm making him diner, while one by one, tears fall into the red sauce from the spaghetti. With my whole heart I was praying that he would be in a good mood today, because when he is, he can be actually sweet, well in comparison with how he is when Giovanni isn't in a bad mood. "Come on Camilla, stop crying", I spoke to myself, walking towards the mirror, wiping my tears away. My light shining brown hair was a little wavy, and my nose was pierced with a ring in the left side.

My phone buzzed and I looked quickly, I could really used some distraction right now. Every afternoon around five Giovanni would get home, and it would be the scariest moment of the day. A messages from Thomas came in and I smiled, he was my best friend since our last year of high school. How did I never told him about my 'problems', if you know what I mean.

"Cami, girl we haven't seen each other in so long, wanna go out for lunch tomorrow"

I can't refuse him again. Every time I came up with an excuse, because I a wound on one of my hands or face. But this time, my skin looked pretty normal, and I mean it when I say I need some discration. Other wise I will be sitting next to the counter all day, crying and sometimes actually cleaning the house or washing the clothes, just like Giovanni thinks.

"Yes sure, that would be fun, can you pick me up, I still don't have a car HAHAH"

"Ofc! I will be at your at eleven AM, ok?"

"Amazing, see you!"

On the moment I laid my phone down on the table, I heard a key in the door, and I ran back to the food, which is about to get burned. My heart started beating loader, when the door towards the kitchen opened. I blinked a few times, to get back into my loving character and not in the terrified one. "Hi sweetie, how are you, was work okay?", I asked, before taking his coat. He groaned and looked annoyed, and I knew he wasn't in a good mood today.

"Stop talking to me, where is my beer", he snapped, letting himself fall on the couch. Sometimes I ask myself what went wrong with him. He is only twenty years old, just like I am, and he is already a monster. As fast as I could I ran towards the fridge, getting him a bottle with beer. "And food", he snapped, and I wanted to gag by his voice. "Almost ready sweetie", I said, sounding my nicest, but really, I wanted to run away, away from this house as fast as I could.

Giovanni was eating like an aminal, while the annoying noises of an horrible tv-show cam out of our TV. Meanwhile, I was looking at my food, I wasn't hungry. The last time I just couldn't, the knot in my stomach was way too big. "Camilla, come here", he ordered, with an grin I didn't like. I smiled and stood up, walking towards him, too scared to breathe. "I wanted with meat, and this is no meat", he snap, slapping against my hip, it wasn't very hard, but there was already a bruise, and that feeling made me nauseous.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, I can make you some meat now", I said, smiling at him, biting on my lip to not burst into tears. "Nah it's fine, why don't we go to the bedroom", he said, and I felt vomit coming up. He is my boyfriend, and although everything he was doing he was hot, but yet how, I felt raped after every time. I stopped loving him because of his behavior a long time ago, and all I felt when I heard his voice or saw his face, I wanted to puke.

He stood up, and walked away, and I could do nothing else but following him, only wishing I could die right now. I've been thinking about calling the police a million times, but he already almost killed me when I washed his clothes too hot, imagine what he would do to me when he would found out that I called the police. So all I could do was listening to him, pretending to enjoy him, holding my tears back and hoping someday he would realize he was wrong. 

**

oh shit