Stranger to stranger

Happy new year

I'm finally at the bookstore. I can see it right in front of me just a few steps away. My nose and ears are freezing since they've been fighting the cold for a few minutes now. My breath is forming a small foggy smock every time I let it out. Now in front of the window, I can see his pensive eyes gazing over a book. He finished the other one and picked a new one, I noticed since it's not the same colour. John looks rather tired compared to the other day. The bags under his eyes are bigger and he gives off a sick skin tone. The bell rings as I open the door. He doesn't bother to look up from his book.

-Hi John.

I smile over to him, still in front of the door. He looks up from his book and his face quickly changes from concentrated to excited. Tiny wrinkles on the side of his blue eyes show themselves when he smiles.

-Hello Alaeha!

He puts down his book and looks straight into my eyes as if he really wanted to talk to me. Or, maybe, I was his first customer of the day.

-How are you John?

-I could do better. How about you?

-I'm doing better actually.

-That's good to hear. What can I do for you?

-Oh, this is going to sound strange. But I had a few questions I wanted to ask you.

He leans in to get comfortable and I get closer to the counter. I searched my coat to find the book I bought here a few days ago. I give it to him and he looks it up and down.

-You remember when I bought this book a few days ago, right?

-Absolutely! How could I forget? This is one of my favorite books. Why?

I can see how confused he feels, and I understand why. He probably isn't used to people coming back to talk to him.

-Are you John Bayers?

He leans back a bit and thinks about his response. He looks down and right while the ideas in his head pass like flashing lights. He leans on the counter again.

-Let me be honest with you, I am John Bayers, but only when I write. It's my pen name.

A rush of energy rushes through my spine as an even bigger smile forms on my face. I can tell John feels my excitement because he is smiling bigger too.

-I knew it! You wrote the book for your wife, didn't you? That's why she loved it so much.

-You're right. It's based on our love story. Everything written in that book is true, except our names. I chose those names because, after we reunited, we went to a restaurant in Italy. We thought creating a new identity was fun, and so, we did. She was named Levi and I was named Nathan. This game continued for the rest of the trip.

-It's truly beautiful. This book is so well written and thought through. Every detail is to die for. I would consider myself lucky to have a quarter of what you guys had. I think everybody should read this book at least once in their life. I say that with all the honesty in the world.

He seems overwhelmed. Did I do too much? I stop worrying when he breathes out, looks down, looks into my eyes and smiles. I can catch his eyes filled with a bit of water.

-Thank you, truly. You don't know what this means to me. The only person who was this supportive was my wife. Not having her around is difficult but people like you make it a little bit easier.

-It's all in my pleasure. If it isn't too personal, how did your wife leave this world exactly?

His smile doesn't have the same meaning anymore. It changed from happiness to grief. His eyes gave his true emotions away. Nothing can express someone's feelings better than eyes. He looks down to his book inside his hand. He moves his thumb back and forth on the dark green cover as a sign of nervousness or uncomfortableness.

-Alzheimers.

I freeze into place. I feel so stupid to even had asked in the first place. I must have reminded him of something he wanted to forget. I feel so bad for him. Alzheimers can be awful in its worst cases. It's a horrible way for the people around the victim to see them die. You watch them lose memories of things you thought they would never forget. And, soon, you're just a ghost since they can't quite remember you. Poor her. He recognizes my empathy for him as I stay put with no words leaving my mouth. He puts down the book in front of him.

-It began at the same time as our 30 years wedding anniversary. She started having subtle memory losses at the beginning of november. I remember, once she forgot what our daughter's name was for a few minutes. That's when we went to see a doctor to look for signs of slight Alzheimer's. Instead, they found out she did indeed have Alzheimers, but her memory was diminishing very quickly. Four years later, they gave her a year to live. She needed help to achieve the smallest actions. She wasn't even able to communicate with the people around. She looked like her, but she wasn't the person I once knew. By the end of that year, she had forgotten our anniversary. She forgot my name, but knew she loved me. She kissed me as if we did before, but she didn't quite remember we did. She was always so happy to see me visit, but so confused since she didn't understand why she was excited by my presence. She first lost her appetite, then she didn't know how to walk or talk quite as well as before. Time was her biggest enemy. January fifth, she died in her sleep. I still got to say 'I love you' one last time to her since the new year was only a few days before. She didn't say it back but I know that, deep down, she felt the same way. She just didn't remember.

I swallow the few drops of water I have and look down on the floor. I look up to see him smile at his fingertips.

-I'm so sorry to hear that. Alzheimers can be horrible in some rare cases. You might not have been lucky with health, but you were lucky with love. I'm sure she didn't want anybody else by her side, even when she didn't recall who you were. You know you meant a lot to her and, based on your book, you lived some amazing stories. I hope you know that death doesn't mean she's gone. A part of her will always live as long as you remember her. I would have loved to meet her.

-I'm sure she would have loved you too. You remind me of her. She was adventurous and curious when she was young. She used to go to her local bookshop everyday. The owner was even invited to our wedding.

There's a second of silence that settles in before we both start laughing. It's good to see him laugh for a bit.

-She seemed very friendly.

-She definitely was. What people thought of her was the least of her worries.

-I can learn that from her. What was her name?

-Her name was Lily, but everybody called her Lee.

John and I ended up talking for another hour before I left. Now I'm walking to get back home. I learned that she was an artist. More specifically, a painter. She used to paint while he was writing. Maybe one day I could find a painter to go on adventures with me. It would be quite lovely. They went through everything together and they still loved one another every second of every day. He thought of her as the love of his life as she slowly forgot him. Everybody deserves a lover who will talk about you like John talks about his wife. I'm glad he feels better today. I also found out that they have a daughter named Mao who's 30 years old. They lost touch over the years, but he hopes to see her again someday. I could maybe plan a reunion between them. I thought about doing it on his birthday, which is apparently next week on Monday. I could buy him a gift too. I'll have to go shopping soon, but finding the fourth letter is still my number one priority right now.

Once I get home, I run to my room to do some research. I looked up on the internet the nearest art gallery to the bridge, since the first letter was found there. It says on a site that the 'In our minds' gallery is a 20 minutes bus drive from my house and it closes at 5 PM. My school ends at 4 PM, which would give me 10 minutes to get home by foot, 30 minutes to get to the art gallery and 20 minutes to visit a three floor building. It is unrealistic considering I have to find a small piece of paper in rooms filled with images and pictures. Plus, it has to be hidden since anyone would take it otherwise. The only way I can have time is by arriving two hours before closing, which means 3 PM. I'll have to leave school at 2:20 PM to be sure. I'll ask to leave early for an appointment at the dentist and they'll be obligated to say yes. Let's hope everything goes well and that I'll be able to find the letter.