It's Whatever

Something

Yeah I know the title isn't very creative but cut me some slack here! I'm running out of names for my problems being some problems aren't very clear and are mushed together. So ignore title cause it's just something alright? ALRIGHT now on with this now...

5 minutes later

You know what, I just came up with a good title for my problem-_- nevermind I refuse to change it. Y'all can deal with✌

Voices, peoples words, verbal attacks all swarm my head. They keep me imprisoned with no way out. I try to fight but I am too weak to take it on, I fall into the hole they want me in. I'm losing the battle. I know none of it is true, but something still pulls me back down and makes me believe some of it. It's a cycle I know way too well and can't find they way out of. I may never make it out of this loop. The more I struggle and fight, the farther I fall. People try to help, but it makes me push them away. This monster controls me like a puppet, it contains me to these walls I hate so much. I don't know how to fight it alone. It knows my weaknesses and my fears. It plays tricks on me. Plays scenarios in my head that I know will never happen but still hurts so bad. Words it hears from those who have hurt me before replay for days. It's tearing me apart, I feel so distance from reality. Others worry, but I can't bring myself to explain or let them even for a second see what truly is happening within. I must defeat this monster on my own for it is my own creation. All the bottled up things and hidden emotions formed into a monster I can't control. I must defeat this storm even if it's the last thing I do. It manipulates me and puts me under its spells leaving me to believe all the things I refuse to believe. I am falling apart silently behind these doors I'm held hostage. Each day the monster grows stronger as it is fed by those who speak negatively trying to hurt me. Alas the monster has grown out of my hands and I may have to surrender. I still have hope to beat it, but

It's Whatever