Diary Entry <3

I didn't mean to

"I had to say that, I mean I didn't know what they were going to do!" I pleaded.

"Just like you didn't know what to do when you stopped talking to me because I wasn't cool enough for you and your friends and it's ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT, even now you haven't changed a bit" Fatima said as she looked at me with pain in her eyes.

"Last summer we were best friends! I fell in love with you! You said you were Muslim and Muslims cant date girls..So I got mad and upset and I tried my best to forget you and I fucked Kevin to get rid of my feelings I even bullied you with my friends and tried so hard to hate you but nothing fucking worked because- .." I said as I choked on my tears..."I like you and I always have"

"Yes I'm a Muslim. ...But did I ever say I couldn't date girls.... huh? No! You just fucking assumed. You're SO SELFISH. Bullying me? just because you thought I'd never date you! Not only that...You fucked my only friend and started dating him you psycho!" Fatima said as she looked at me in pure rage.

"I thought you liked him so I- god I'm sorry" I said.

"FUCK YOU! " Fatima said.

"Fatte..I mean it I'm sorry" I said as I sighed.

"If you mean it then say it, say that you love me."
Fatima said with tears running down her face.

I stood there not knowing what to do. I looked at her and a ball started forming in my throat, the words were there but my mouth didn't move. It's as if I was scared, scared of the truth.

"Fatte.." I said as I sighed.

"AND THANKS TO YOU WERE IN A FUCKING CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE! I should have NEVER trusted you." Fatima said as she ran outside.

Diary 10/15/21
If I had known things would have gone this way I would have never stepped foot near that party. Everything's ruined now I just want to be wiped off of the face of the earth...

I stared at the door as my feelings just disappeared. I walked to the fridge and opened it, I found alcohol and took a huge chug as I felt my heart stop. I took another big chug as I fell back against the floor in agony. I couldn't even move my legs anymore. There was just so much pain that I couldn't feel anything else. I started drinking out of control as my senses left me defenseless.

WEDNESDAY

"Agh, what time is it?" I said in a tired voice as I scratched my eyes..." I looked at my phone as I got up from the kitchen floor, in front of the still open fridge. It was cold and damp in the room. The fire had extinguished and it was freezing everywhere. The light that was peeking from behind the curtain hit my face as I saw a bunch of missed calls from my mother but I didn't care, Fatima was gone.

I sat down on the sofa staring at the TV and just felt Completely numb.

I looked at the door in pain as I couldn't believe that I had let her leave. I started screaming out of control as my phone went off, ringing again. I ran to it and threw it against the window breaking it and the phone. I ran to a bedroom and slammed the door behind me, furthermore I threw myself on top of a bed. I then later went to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me and proceeded to barf in the toilet. And just sat there.

Fatima pov

I was lying in bed as I woke up early in the morning. I looked at my phone as I saw 27 missed calls from...

Felicia.

I sighed as I threw my phone on the bed and got up.

"Honey? Breakfast is ready!" my Mom said.

"I'll be down in a minute!" I shouted from my room upstairs.

I sat down in front of my Mom as she put my breakfast on the table in front of me.