HER MISSING PIECE || enemies to lovers

part 6

Great, that didn't go as planned. Why am I even so stupid and mention these fucking pills. The house is a mess again! Shit

*ding dong*
"amelia open the door!"

Okay breathe in. You can do this. I slowly walked up to the door grabbed the doorknob and opened it. As soon as I opened the door, may stormed in. She immediately walked to my room. Fuck no what is she doing. "May!" I screamed. She didn't answered. "Macy no wait!" I run after her. She opened my door and searched for something. My heart began to race. Please don't look into my nightstand. Mays gaze wandered to my nightstand. My heart stopped.

"May no don't you dare!!" I yelled. She ran to my nightstand and opened it. I walked up to her and tried to stop her but it was too late. Macy found my pills. She stopped moving. May turned her head to look at me. Never before has a person looked at me so disappointed. My heart sank as I saw mays expression. Pure disappointment.

She grabbed the pills and started walking towards me. "Antidepressants?" Her face expression broke my heart.

Well, maybe I should also tell you that there weren't only sleeping pills in my night stand. There were also antidepressants. I take one every day to help my depression and anxiety. No one knows about them.

I stood there frozen not knowing what to say. "How many do you take of them?" Macy asks quiet. I remained silent. "Answer me" She demands. I took a deep breath and said "One everyday". "One every-"
May sighs. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked hurt. Tears started to form in her eyes. "May look.. you wouldn't understand." My voice begins to break.
"I will try to understand and if I don't then please explain it to me. I beg you." She sobs. I can't even look her in the eyes.

My heart began to race and I started to shake. I knew what was about to happen but I didn't wanted to have a panic attack in front of my best friend. I don't want her to see me like that. May saw that I was struggling so she walked up to me and pulled me into a deep hug.

She squeezed me really hard to tell me that she's there. She rubbed circles in my back with her thumb. "Breath with me alright? 3..2..1.. breathe in". So I did. I focused on Macy and my breathing. "3..2..1.. out. Perfect. You're doing great" May praises me. I felt my breathing getting normal again.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me about the pills and I'm sorry if I was too harsh. I just care about you so fucking much and it hurts me knowing that you suffer. I want you to be happy ams. You deserve it. So please if you're ready to talk about it then tell me please, alright?" I nodded. "I'll be always there for you. You're my best friend you Idiot." Macy chuckles while sobbing. I smiled into her shoulder. I am really glad to have her but I'm not ready to tell her yet. I'm sorry.

Macy stops hugging me and asks "You ate anything yet?". Oh no. I started to panic and shook my head. "How about I cook us something?" I didn't know what to say. I can't tell her that I haven't eaten in a week.
"Have you even eaten the last few days?" She suddenly asks worried. I have to tell her. She deserves it. I slowly shook my head. "No. No, I haven't." May sighs. "So that's why you got skinnier. Well, You gotta eat something so I'm gonna make Spaghetti." She adds with a fake smile on her face. I know she is disappointed.

"Can you uh.. please don't tell anyone." I said. Macy nodded. I made my way to my couch and sat down. I turned on the tv and searched a good movie. Meanwhile Macy finished the food and brought it to me. We both sat on the couch and watched the movie. I looked at my plate with the food on it. Fuck I can't eat this. I know I'm gonna feel so guilty. I'm not even skinny enough. I turn my head to the right to look at may. She happily enjoys her food.

I actually am really hungry. Maybe I should give it a try. "Come on taste it. It tastes delicious tho." Macy says. I take a portion on the fork. My hands are shaking. This feels wrong. May is watching me. She's waiting for me to try it. Ugh fuck it. I take the fork in my mouth and chew on the spaghetti. A tear rolls down my cheek. I'm disappointed in myself. Macy rubs my back. "I'm proud of you" she smiles.

I finished my food and immediately felt guilty. I wanted to throw up so bad but that has to wait till macy goes home. "What happened to your forehead?" May asks out of nowhere. Shit I completely forgot about that. "Uhh I hit my head" I answered. She gave me a confused look but accepted it.

After 1 hour Macy says "I'm gonna pick you up tomorrow at 7 pm for Cambells party okay?" I nod. I guide her to the door and open it. Macy hugs me one last time and whispers in my ear. "I am really proud of you for eating ams and don't forget you can tell me everything alright? cya!" And with that she left. Thank god.

!tw!

Once I closed my front door I ran to the bathroom, kneeled in front of the toilet and put my finger deep into my throat until I started to gag and threw up. I felt relieved that the food is out again. I flush the toilet, wash my face and sit down on the floor since I was feeling a little bit dizzy. After 5 minutes of trying to calm down I stood up, went to the kitchen to clean it and after that I went into my bed and luckily immediately fell asleep. Means no sleeping pills for today.

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