The Taste of Clouds

I

Is there a thing that you love the most but turned into your worst fear?

Have you ever heard of the word "nephophobia" a person who is afraid of clouds, before? I know you are familiar with "pluviophobia", a fear of rain.

The irrational fear of clouds is known as nephophobia. Even thinking about clouds, let alone seeing them, can cause a great deal of anxiety in someone with this illness. Their anxiety could be so severe that they get a full-fledged panic attack as a result.

My phobia started when I was 13. I walked straight home when I witnessed the clouds instantly turning dark ash grey. I suddenly felt a heavy feeling in my chest, my tears rolled down I couldn't even feel that I'm breathing. I can't utter a word to call for help. "What's happening to me?" I raised a question to myself. The raindrops start to shower my body. I lay down in pain and shut my eyes. I didn't believe that I could survive through this pain, I just let death embrace me.

I woke up when a tasty smell run through my nose. My body automatically stands up. It must be my mom who cooks my favorite meal. She always does that to make me awake.

"Hi, mom. Good morning!" I greeted her. I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head onto her shoulders, while she's cooking. I'm a clingy person, you know.

"Oh, good morning, Gene!" she smiled. "I woke you up again, didn't I?"

"You're always waking me up by just cooking my favorite meal." I pout.

"Because..." she paused. "You are difficult to wake up. " she jokingly said.

I chuckled.

"Go ahead and sit down, I'm almost finished."

I kissed my mom's cheeks and sit down, waiting for my favorite food to be prepared.

I went back to my room, to get my phone.

My room is opaque. I don't have any windows here, only a 'not so small hole' to serve as air to come in and out since it is prohibited for me to be exposed by the clouds.

I took off my room and closed the door and get back to the kitchen. I saw my mom waiting for me to be at the table.

"Let's eat, son." she invited.

I sat down while looking at my phone. I check the weather every day, in case the weather would be cloudy. I'm aware of my phobia, I don't want it to attack me like when I was 13.

"Why are you scanning at your phone for 12 minutes, Gene? You haven't touched the meal I cook."

"Oh, I'm sorry mom. I'm just checking the weather today."

"You should turn on the television," she said while chewing.

"Oh, right."

I turn on the television and changed the channel to where the weather is now forecasting.

...The area of Bangkok will experience light rain, bring your umbrellas and coats when going outside, and keep safe...

While giving attention to the weather situation today I feel unhappy. I dislike hearing the rain, I guess I need to wear my headset and put on some music until the rain stops.

I ate my food, it is now warm.

"You're already finished eating mom?"

"Yes, you were just watching the weather forecast while I was eating. Go ahead and finish your meal, I'm preparing for work."

"Okay." I smiled.

"You should take a shower afterwards, your teacher will be here in a few minutes."

Oh! I forgot that I have a home class today.

You heard it right. I don't attend school and have a home class since I can not bear seeing clouds.

I quickly finish my food, my class will start at 8 am. I look at my phone and check the time... It's already 7:54 am!?

"Slow down on chewing your food, Gene. You are choking yourself."

"But... It's almost 8:00 am mom."

My mom laughed. "I need to go, Gene. Take care of yourself."

"Mom, wait!" I ran towards her.

"What?"

I hug her tightly.

"I almost forgot to hug you," I whispered.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

She kissed my forehead and went outside when the raindrops begins to sink.

I immediately lock the door. I didn't say a word to my mom before she left but at least I hug her. I immediately run to the bathroom to take a bath, my teacher will be here any minute.

Ding dong!

I step on the door and saw- a delivery man?

"Good morning sir. Your order is here."

I thought it was my teacher.

"Oh, right. Come on in so you won't get soaked by the rain. I will fetch my wallet, be right back."

Right, I almost forgot that I have my food to be delivered today. I ordered crispy pork ribs I saw in an online shop last day. I rarely go outside so I usually order food from online shops or when fast food has a delivery service.

After that, I paid and thank the delivery man. I told him that he would be careful while driving. He shouldn't deliver this today, the weather isn't good.

My teacher isn't here. It's already 8:26 am.

I'm currently watching a horror movie called "cadaver"
while eating my favourite crispy pork ribs and waiting for my teacher to arrive.