The Taste of Clouds

XIII

Nubsib handed Gene a paper bag.

"How did you buy a paint in this hour?"

I'll pay you soon. Thank you for this.

No need to. That's my extra white paint.

Do you paint?

Yeah, but I quit.

Why?

...

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to ask you."

Don't be sorry. I quit because I lose interest in the thing I was once attached to.

Sorry to hear that.

Proceed with your unfinished painting.

Once again, I gazed at Gene. He's like the lights that brighten up my dull world. Since the day he saved me, my mind never think of killing myself.

He's good at stroking the paint brush. And the results are pretty.

"Done! How does it look?"

Pulchritudinous.

Looks great.

He smiles widely while looking at me. No, why does he look so adorable? I can't resist it.

Thank you for accompanying me.

I help him fixed his art materials to get ready for going home.

I'll walk you home.

Don't mind me. I can walk myself.

Have you failed to think that our house has the same direction?

Oh, right. I'm kinda forgetting things that much.

Are all of your equipment settled?

He nods.

Let's go home.

***

The atmosphere is too quiet. So I lighten it up.

"Can I see your paintings? If you don't mind?"

Yeah, sure.

I squeaked in excitement.

Are you free tomorrow?

What time?

8 pm.

Yeah, I'm free. Anytime, actually.

Okay. See you.

Why do you want to see my paintings?

I love arts so much. And I'm an Art student.

Oh. We have the same faculty? From what school are you attending?

I don't attend school. But Prawet University is the name of my school.

You don't attend school? How you work out projects without you attending?

I'm having a home class. ... Long story.

He stopped his steps.

We are here.

I'm not yet ready to part ways with him. I want to spend more time walking with him, just tonight.

"I guess we should walk past."

His eyebrows furrowed.

"Let's go." I grabbed his wrist and start running. I don't know where our foot will stop. We keep running and running until we reach the riverside. This is a good destination, a nice place to go out with.

We both catch some air. My painting materials are heavy I almost passed out. Why did we run? I told myself that me and Sib will walk.

"Sorry if I dragged you. I don't feel like coming home tonight."

Are you thirsty? You look pale.

Just a bit.

I shake my head while panting.

I lay down on the grasses hearing crickets chirping, the sound of calm water of the river, and feeling the cold breeze running through my skin. Moon is the only source of light. "Have you ever felt pain? Physical pain or mental pain?"

Nubsib just nods. Sitting while looking above. Gene is facing his back.

"Do you feel hopeless every time you feel it?"

Silent answered me.

"You know what Sib, I have a disorder. ...I used to love clouds so much when I was a kid, now it ruined my life. I'm prohibited to go outside especially in the morning or if the weather is bad and cloudy. I feel so attacked every time I'm exposed or even thinking about it. I almost died two times. But I don't blame clouds. I blame myself."

I noticed that he is writing something on the paper we used as a conversation a while ago.

It must be hard for you.

6 words that made my tears roll down after I read it.

"Thank you for helping me when I almost died. By the way, how did you save me when I lose control of my car?"

It was hard for me to chase your car because of its situation. But I entered your car as soon as it almost crashed by a truck then I quickly stepped on the break. And called the ambulance after.

It went silent for 5 minutes.

"Hey, Sib..." Gene paused.

"I know you have a disorder too."

How did he know?