!TW! : Involves themes of physical and emotional abuse as well as PTSD
"We're all monsters, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when you look out at that setting sun, what do you see?"
"The sky turns from blue to yellow, just as it does every n...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
~*~
Lupin has disappeared again and, this time, I'm actually worried. I try to convince myself otherwise, but I can't stop thinking that he's in trouble. Almost exactly a month before this, he was out for a week, and I understand what he's told me. He gets sick often, but this is exactly a month after it happened the first time. Something in me tells me that this scenario is off, but I'm not sure what the relation is, or what it's trying to tell me.
I stalk up to the boys that have returned to their own table for the Halloween feast, ready to give them a talking to. Their heads are all cornered together, whispering to each other in soft tones. Black spots me coming and taps the other boys on the shoulder. They back up, pretending as though they weren't doing anything suspicious. I know better.
"Where's Lupin?" I ask, sitting down next to Pettigrew in Lupin's usual spot.
"What do you mean?" Black asks, as if he's not even sure he has a friend by that name.
"I'm not an idiot, Black. I know you know. I get he's sick or whatever, but this is two occurrences in the past two months, almost exactly a month apart. That's not a coincidence."
Potter shares a look with Black, eyes wide, before turning back to me. "He just has a cold. Nothing to worry about. He gets sick easily so a month is about the right timing between each cold."
I know they're lying. Potter scratches his right ear and sweat drips down his forehead while Black tries to avoid my eyes. Pettigrew just wolf's down his food like he's not listening. I stand, pushing back and beginning to head back to the Ravenclaw table, but before I can get very far, I turn back, placing a hand on my hip.
"I hope you know that, as my friend, you have to place some trust in me," I say, though it's quite obvious they aren't my friends. "And as my friend, you should know that when I put my mind to something, I never give up. I'll find out what you're hiding. Is Lupin in the hospital wing?"
"No," Black answers too quickly. That gives me my answer. I should have checked there first.
I don't worry about staying for the rest of the Halloween feast, but instead head to the hospital wing where I know that Lupin must be. And indeed, there he is, looking sickly and pale in the bed. I'm surprised that Madam Pomphrey isn't there in the state that he's in. He does indeed look sick, but what with, I wonder? This looks worse than a cold. I sit on the edge of the bed that's next to his. He's asleep, his eyes shut lightly. I allow myself a moment to gaze at him.
His scars seem extra white against his skin today, standing out even though his skin is pale. His hair is in his eyes, making me want to brush it away. His chest rises and falls slowly and unsteadily as though he's in pain. I immediately guess that he's having a nightmare. I don't do anything for a moment, but when he stirs, I can't stand to see him in pain, so I stand and move closer, placing my hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. His eyes shoot open and he sits up quickly, flailing around and trying to grasp at his surroundings. He grabs onto my arm tightly, and I cover his hand with mine, hoping he'll calm down at least a little bit. It seems to do the trick, bringing him into the present. The boy furrows his eyebrows in confusion and glances down at his hand on my arm. I drop my hand away from his and pull away quickly, coughing to clear my throat.
