!TW! : Involves themes of physical and emotional abuse as well as PTSD
"We're all monsters, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when you look out at that setting sun, what do you see?"
"The sky turns from blue to yellow, just as it does every n...
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~*~
Most students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry go home for the Christmas holiday. The hustle and excitement of students, especially when snow begins to fall, is what I like least as the term comes to a close. All begin to anticipate the lack of school and returning home to their families. I've heard how blissfully quiet and relaxing the castle can be with all its missing pupils. Those of us in pure-blooded families are forced to spend the break with our families who insist that we attend their extravagantly thrown parties just so they will be able to show off their children and pretend they are better than all others in attendance. This season is no different with the Wedding of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black. This is a party I would be more than happy to miss. Unfortunately, I must keep up appearances. For my father's sake, of course.
As the holiday crept closer, I found myself growing weak. The walls that I have taken so many years to build that conceal pain and heartache no one should have the pleasure to endure has been released into the open as my new so called 'friends' begin to broaden my understanding of the real world, something my father has been keen on feeding me false information about. I am no longer who I once was as the one and only child of the King family. The entirety of Hogwarts knows it, and I pray to whatever higher being controls this world that my father doesn't know it. That would certainly mean hell for everyone. Most of all, me.
Putting up appearances is easier than I imagine. As I look up at the drab manor in front of me, I feel my face relax as if I never have been able to manage a smile in my life. With the overcasting clouds that threaten snow, the gray and black of the house before me looks even darker and sadder than I imagine. Or perhaps it has simply dimmed in comparison to the colorfilled world I've discovered. A world that seems so far away now. Almost impossible.
I snap my fingers. It only takes a second for a small pop to fill the air. A small house elf, old and wearing away appears at my side, bowing deeply, his ears touching the floor. Kniles. My mother had named him when he had come into our custody before I was born. A wedding gift, she had told me. I was to treat him with kindness, but never show him any sign that he is more than what he was worth. Not a penny. How silly, I can't help but think now. What makes him so different from me?
"Good afternoon, ma'am. May I take your things to your room?" the creature asks me.
"If you would. Is Father home?"
"He is not, ma'am. Would you like me to tell him that you have arrived?"
I shake my head. "No, thank you. I would hate to disturb him. He likely already knows. Will you prep my room and lunch for me? I haven't eaten since this morning."
"Of course, ma'am." Kniles bows deeply again before disappearing with another pop. Then I'm left alone.
The door stands open, Kniles obviously having unlocked it before going to my room with my things. No lights are on, the window coverings not even pulled back. I can hardly see how anyone has lived here since I left. Maybe they haven't. I never know what my father's doing while I am away. I pull out my wand and gaze at it for a moment before giving it a wave, muttering a small incantation under my breath. My first bit of magic outside of school. It feels odd, but I take a moment to relish in the power. I can even fight back, if need be. The moment of power fades as light fills the front room and pours into the corridor. I take a step into the doorway.
