Weakness (Zuodeng)

Fourteen

Everyone was tired after the games, so they weren’t required to go to practice that evening. However, Zuo took it upon himself to practice. He was by far behind everyone, so he would benefit from a little extra practice so catch up.
Jiaxin accompanied him to the practice room, even though he wasn’t planning on practicing his dance skills. However, when he saw that Zuo was struggling with some moves, he decided to assist him.

“You’re doing good,” Jiaxin said a while later then sat down on the floor and watched Zuo continue on his own. He was much better than before, and Jiaxin couldn’t help but smile. He watched him with fascination and admiration as to how someone could be that handsome.

He watched him and cheered him on for a while before he started feeling tired.

“Zuo it’s 11 pm, shouldn’t we go to bed?” Jiaxin asked him with a yawn.

“Oh go ahead, I still have a lot of work to do.” Zuo told him.

“You’ll be fine?”

He chuckled. “I’m not a kid. Go ahead.”

Jiaxin got up from the floor. “Alright, see you later then. Don’t sleep too late.”

Zuo nodded and continued to dance as Jiaxin walked out. Now that he was alone, he started thinking about what had happened that day. He didn’t understand…if he was so handsome like everyone claimed, why would Zhixin leave him?
No he didn’t have to be thinking about Zhixin, but he couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head. If he was so handsome, then Zhixin probably still loved him. There must have been something else that kept Zhixin from continuing the relationship, certainly not because he didn’t love him anymore right?

Now distracted by his thoughts, Zhixin found himself tripping over his own feet and falling on his bottom.

“Ugh,” he said to himself and got up. He continued to practice, but he had suddenly lost all his focus. All he wanted now was to know why Zhixin had left him, and he was convinced Zhixin still loved him.

Zuo found himself turning off the lights to the practice room, then leaving and walking towards the building that had their rooms.

He walked past his room door thoughtfully, and it made it to the end of the hall where Zhixin and Xinhao’s room was. He needed answers from Zhixin, and this time was going to get them. He almost knocked on the door, before he decided to simply try the door handle. It turned out the door was open, and he was surprised. Then he remembered that John usually woke them up in the morning, so they all probably left their doors open.

It didn’t feel right, but Zuo couldn’t wait until the morning to get the explanation from Zhixin which he was so desperate for. He slowly entered the dark room, where both Xinhao and Zhixin were sleeping soundly.

Not wanting to wake up Xinhao, Zuo slowly walked over to Zhixin’s bed. He was about to wake him slowly, when Zhixin’s eyes suddenly opened.

“What in the world!?” Zhixin asked in surprise as he sat up on his bed.

“I want us to talk,” Zuo answered.

Zhixin’s loud interjection managed to wake up Xinhao, who looked at the two with surprise as well.

“Do you know what the time is!?” Zhixin looked at his bedside clock. “It’s 12 am! You’re a creep!”

“I really just wanted us to talk,” Zuo tried to explain. “I couldn’t wait till the morning and…”
“What the hell?!” Xinhao was the next one to ask.

“Get out!” Zhixin pointed at the door. “What’s wrong with you!?”

“But I wanted us to talk first, it’s really important.” Zuo begged. He couldn’t even believe that his former was telling to get out. The entire scene seemed unreal to him.

“My sleep is important, I’m a trainee. I don’t want to be drained tomorrow.” Zhixin got out of his bed. “Really, get out. You’re disturbing my roommate.”

“Talk to me first.”

“No! Get out!” Zhixin repeated, but Zuo stood still in his spot. “Don’t make me drag you out of here!”

The door slowly opened with a creak, and another trainee walked in. It was Jiaxin. “Guys what’s going on? You’re making so much noise.” he looked at Zuo in surprise.

“Get your roommate out of here,” Xinhao was the one to answer him. “Is he crazy?”

“Crazy?” Jiaxin put his hands on Zuo’s shoulders. “What are you doing in here? Come on.”

Zuo shook his head tearfully and looked at Zhixin. “You’re really telling me to leave? After everything?”

“Yes! Get out.” Zhixin emphasized his words and started to get back in his bed. “Jiaxin you better control your roommate, I can’t handle him anymore.”

Zuo couldn’t believe this. How could someone who loved him so much turn away from him like that? It was an overwhelming reality that Zhixin’s love had probably faded. He didn’t know exactly why, but he had no choice but to accept it. Involuntarily, tears started to roll down his eyes.

Jiaxin placed his hands on Zuo’s shoulders and looked at Zhixin, looking for a trace of sympathy in his eyes. But Zhixin didn’t care, he got into bed and continued his sleep.