I'm Not Okay.

I'm Okay.

I'm Not Okay.

Gus paces around his room impatiently, he fidgets and thinks of everything and everyone has been doing recently and as much as he wants to be happy for everyone he just can't Luz recently just connected with her mother and told her the whole story. As sad as Luz was explaining it, she smiled back at everyone like she usually does and fit right back in. Eda is more connected with her family than she's ever been, controlling her curse fluently and King even has powers now. Amity even flipped the whole script of her own personality and found herself turning a new leaf.

He wants to be happy for everyone he really does but he can't. He knows he'll never be able to truly support them when he knows deep down and has already acknowledged himself that...

He's not happy.

How was he supposed to be happy, he's been the loveable gullible illusionist of the group since Luz arrived. He was well aware of it but only kept acting like such to hide how he really felt, how much he loved her. He had it under control before she arrived, he could keep everything stable at first but then when she came it all slowly started falling apart.

At first his excitement of a human arriving in the boiling isles couldn't be contained. He was ecstatic that he could meet one, learn about one, and now at this point be practically best friends with one. As much as he loved all of this, Luz brings things out of people they didn't even know were there. She can turn your whole mindset you spent years perfecting and sticking to like a reflex into something completely opposite in just a few weeks, maybe even a few days if you're around her enough.

Of course this would all apply to the girl he loves, the girl he seemingly had his feelings under control about before Luz's arrival, and the girl who now has him freaking out by himself in his room.

Willow.

Ever since Luz showed up she's brought things out of Willow he could have never imagined. She became a whole new person in a few months and it happened in the blink of an eye for Gus. Her attitude is more confident and less scared, and she even was able to switch courses off showing her skill to Principal Bump. She's blossomed into potential that Gus never thought was even there, and he knows Willow doubts that it was ever there either.

That made her so much more attractive to him.

Gus sits down on his bed gripping his head while sighing. He's never flipped out once in his life at anyone for anything. He's always been neutral and never a conflict driven person but when he saw Willow and Edric flirting so innocently and openly in front of him he just lost it. Gus twirls his fingers in a roll motion in front of him, illusions appearing in the open floor of his room.

The illusions replay a slowed version of what happened earlier, the green haired airhead asking Willow some questions while the two smile and laugh happily together. Another illusion appears which was Gus with the most irritated face he's ever made approaching the two with a water bottle in hand. He creeps up behind Edric and pretends to accidentally spill the bottle all over the boy, causing all of the other pair of illusion eyes to glance at the sudden commotion of the two.

He winces at the look Willow gave him, seeing through his little slip and fall act easily. She seemed more disappointed that he'd do something like that then mad, and didn't even care enough to scold him as the only one knowing what he did. She just helped Edric clean himself and moved away from the boy, and then the illusion ends as Gus yells into his pillow in embarrassment.

"Why do I always mess up everything concerning her..." Gus silently whispers to himself into his pillow. He's messed up every confession he's tried at the young girl, countless times even after Luz showed up he's backed down last second or fumbled his words and turned into a stuttering mess right in front of her. She's always laughed it off and ignored it but this time he's never seen her make that face, not before Luz showed up or after. She's never made that face towards him and it hurt him seeing it.