I woke up on the cold bowling alley floor, crying. Why was I crying? Please god help me. This is really embarrassing.
"You good brother?" The sexy Rhode-Jesus asked me. If I was straight I'd probably let her swipe my nose like a credit card. "You kinda died there homie."
I couldn't even look her in the eyes I was so embarrassed. This is actually fucked up. How am I to rescue my beautiful babies and more importantly Dwayne Johnson if I couldn't even fucking bowl correctly?
"Fucking look at me when I talk to you." RJ snapped in my face, I can't believe this.
I slapped her hands away. "Don't you ever talk to me like that you fishy hoe!" I screamed back, pushing myself to my feet and wiping my tears away. "I'm just emo right now, GOD I thought you'd understand me more."
It was happening again.
The lights were out, and I heard the distant mew of a kitten in the distance. I tried to crawl, but the floor underneath gave way to water. I couldn't swim.
I'm drowing.
Something, someone, is coming. I keep paddling but the cries grow further away. God help me.
My heart was screaming in my chest as I jolted back to life. What?
"Dude, you're like totally tweaking..." Everything is blurred around me. What???
I feel clamy hands on my shoulders, and another set grab onto mine as I'm dragged along the ground. What?
Water is splashed into my face, and I blink. I'm in a bathroom, cool blue tiling lined the walls. There was some twink and RJ standing above my pathetic form on the cold floor. My head was splitting. Jesus Christ..
I reached both hands into the air and whispered hoarsely, "Uppies.." with a tear in my eye. RJ took the brunt of lifting me, as the twink couldn't handle my muscle mass.
"So like what the fuck?"
"Dude, bro, gonna level with you here.. we got a lot of work to do. I can't drown my demons man, they know how to swim. I think also I heard BTS??? Maybe??? So I think we gotta get in om this and see what's up. I don't trust 'em." My voice became stronger with each word. RJ had this look in her eye, and gestured to the kid. "Tommy, yeah?"
"Uh- no it's-"
"Alright Tommy, you got somewhere to be? Come with us. You know too much."
YOU ARE READING
the royal smackdown
HumorPoor boy John Cena loses his job, then his wife, and then the only thing left of his wife. He has to go on an adventure with a familiar sex beast to get them back.
