My Dreams

a story from a friend

DISCLAIMER: I WILL NOT BE GIVING OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION OF ME OR MY FRIEND. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL DO NOT REPORT THIS STORY IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT YOU CAN LEAVE IT IS OLD ITS SOME OF WHAT MY FRIEND WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD THEY ARE NOW AN ADULT AND THEY HAVE ALREADY GOT HELP
I DO HAVE THEIR PERMISSION TO POST THIS. GRAMMAR ISN'T GOOD AND THIS IS AFTER I TOOK OUT SOME INFORMATION FOR PERSONAL REASONS

TW:
Abuse
Selfharm
Suicide attempt
Suicidal thoughts
Suicide

I don't blame my parents for the way they treat me or the way they are raising me. I do blame them for the ignorance they have while doing it though. I understand that they were raised a certain way and that way will reflect on how they raise me, but they need to understand the generation gap. Things are different now and they don't understand it or me. They think it's the phones or the friends. It's not it's the simple fact that we have no freedom. We have no friends to go out with and have fun with. They think that well you aren't doing chores so you can't go out. What about the years that I did do chores or when I stayed home from school to take care of you because you and your husband were going through things. Or what about the time that I helped take care of you and my little sister after you had her because you were in pain and he had a toothache I woke up in the middle of the morning every day to make her bottles or I come home and sit on my knees for thirty minutes to help you shower because you couldn't do it yourself. And once you didn't need me for that anymore you treated me like shit. Do you remember that time you got mad at me and u don't even remember what for but you threw me into a wall and choked me until I saw spots in my vision. Do you remember when you threatened me not to tell and anyone about it or how you made me were makeup one my neck for weeks so people wouldn't know. Do you remember how you spent years tormenting me about having stains in my underwear and making think something was wrong with for that only to find it was normal and you never told me about it.  Do you remember how you would bring my dad around and let me get attached to him then he would leave and you blame me for it saying that I was a bad child and no one wants a bad child. Do you remember when I told you about me wanting to k*ll myself because of the pain I was going through but you told me that I was wrong and that I didn't have a reason to feel stressed or depressed because I don't pay bills or rent because I'm just a kid. Do you remember seeing the sc*rs on my skin because I forgot to cover then up and you threatened to be*t me if I didn't tell you why I did it but when I told you it was because of you you told me I was lying and I didn't have a reason to hate myself that I was 13 and I didn't have any stress or d*pr*ssion to deal with. Do you remember telling everyone that I was crazy and that I was s*lfh*rming. Now everyone thinks I'm some nut case and no body treats me the same anymore.  Do you remember when my first boyfriend cheated on me and you laughed and said you were right about him. You didn't even try to comfort me mom. But I do things for or at least I did things for you. I give up I want to d*e mom I want to k*ll myself I really do but I won't because I want to prove you and everyone else wrong. I don't want to be known as some crazy teenager who has daddy issues and won't get anywhere because her mom is on welfare.