what money can buy | jjk

07

The ride home goes smoothly. You've given Jeongguk your address after he offered to drive you home. It's still silent, but you're so tired and disappointed that you don't care at the moment. He's going to drop you home and say that he doesn't want to see you again, and you won't mind, you try to tell yourself.

It turns out to be easier said than done when Jeongguk pulls up at the curb, and you see the door that leads inside the building of which you live on top. It's dark out, has been ever since the movie started.

You turn to Jeongguk, intending on thanking him for driving you home even though you could've easily called a cab.

"Why don't you want to touch me?"

He's been staring straight ahead, hands remaining on the steering wheel, but now, he turns to you. It catches you off guard and makes you blink a few times.

"I—it's not what I'm paying you for."

"But sleeping with me was?"

The way he utters those words makes him sound more casual than you know he feels. That hint of anger that's in there still feels like a knife to your heart. You dreaded seeing him after that night, and it relieved you, when he seemed to not dwell over it. But you spoke too soon.

"No—I—" you want to explain, but even if he didn't interrupt, you don't know what you would've said.

"You paid me a grand and a half for it. Fifteen hundred."

"Well, yeah..." to ease your own consciousness after taking advantage of him. He should at least be well compensated.

"And then you say I'm not allowed to bring it up," he continues, still with the same cold voice and gaze kept forward. "Almost like you're buying my silence."

Your bottom lip trembles, just like it did that morning when you realized what you'd done. He's right. You deserve it, you just didn't expect to get it thrown in your face.

"I'm sorry," it's all you can say, and it's spoken in a pathetic voice.

Jeongguk scoffs. "Yeah, so don't tell me everything's up to me when it's not. You know I need the money, and so since you wanna pretend you never slept with me, you're bribing me."

What do you do? You swallow and try to keep the tears at bay by blinking, but you know they're inevitable. In a way, you want to argue, make him see that you care about him, but at the same time, that's not something you do. You don't argue when you're in the wrong, and in this instance, you're very much in the wrong. And now he's had enough.

"But you know what, keep your money. I don't want it anymore."

"Jeongguk, please," you beg him softly. You don't deserve him, you know that, but god, do you want him in your life. He's your favorite person.

"No. We're here, you live up there, right?" He says it with distaste as he motions to the tall, sleek building with so many large windows it appears to be entirely made of glass.

You nod shakily.

"You should go then. Goodbye."

There's so much you want to say as you process what he's doing. I'm sorry. You are, but he's heard it already. I hope you'll find your happiness. You do, but it feels belittling in a way. I'll remember you. It's true, but also way too cheesy. People don't actually say that outside of movies.

"Okay."

He doesn't meet your eyes.

You get out of the truck and head towards the door without looking back. As soon as your face is no longer visible to Jeongguk, you let the tears fall. His father's truck is surprisingly quiet, but you can still make out the sound of its departure when your feet carry you the ten meters to the door.