what money can buy | jjk

08

When a couple of harsh knocks sound throughout the apartment, you're ready to yell at Seokjin for disturbing your sleep. It's silent, still, and dark when you swing your legs over the edge of the bed and patter towards the door.

The ceiling light in the hallway forces your eyes, accustomed to the absence of it, to squint, and you stand on your tippy-toes to see through the peephole. Seokjin's dark hair takes up the whole area, and you sigh before unlocking the door. He's witnessed you at your worst, you don't need to change from your pj's or comb your hair for him. The question is only why he's here in the middle of the night?

Whatever complaint you were going to utter, dies on your tongue the second the door glides open. Because it's not Seokjin who stands outside your door, big, round eyes looking hesitant. It's Jeongguk.

For some reason, he appears just as confused as you are, and it's quiet for a moment before you clear your throat.

"What... what are you doing here?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper. And how did he get inside the building without a key fob?

"I came to return this," he holds out his hand that's gripping a jacket. "You forgot it in the backseat of the truck. I didn't notice until a few days ago. And... uh, you never responded..."

"Oh." Your hands take it from his, and you inspect it as if you've never seen it before.

"I'm sorry if it inconvenienced you, you know, since it's a lot colder now. I know you didn't have any other jackets, so I hope you didn't have to buy another."

"Thank you," you bow slightly before a yawn can interrupt you. That the jacket's absence went unnoticed by you isn't something you tell him.

"No problem," he assures. You haven't looked much at his face, but short glances tell you that he looks just like he did when you last saw him—handsome, healthy. Even though you don't smile, or feel your heart beat faster, you're glad for his sake. He deserves to be happy. If anything, you feel your head fill with painful flashbacks you'd rather forget, and your chest constrict with guilt. "Were you... sleeping?"

You furrow your eyebrows. Clearly, your mind was still so hazy from sleep that you forgot to question why Jeongguk planned his visit at this hour.

"Yeah. It's five am, why aren't you?" you mumble and yawn again.

"It's five pm," he corrects you.

You've slept around nineteen hours.

"Oh."

You wish Jeongguk would leave. It feels like he sees right through you, like he can tell just what kind of person you are, and you can't stand him looking at you. Your gaze is on the floor as you back up and slowly start to close the door.

"Again, thank you," you say, because being perceived as rude still isn't something you wish to be.

But before you can close it all the way, a hand comes to stop it. When you meet his big, brown eyes, they're filled with desperation.

"Can I talk to you?"

You keep your hand on the door, but ease up on the pressure. Talking to Jeongguk doesn't sound very tempting, no matter how much you've missed his voice. Doing it would only salt the wounds you're trying to heal, and like nothing else, you want to close that door and forget what happened, rid yourself of the intense shame and disappointment that courses through you.

"Please, I just want to apologize," he begs. In the end, you can't do it. Like no one else, Jeongguk makes you weak.

---