Credence Levi x O'C

Chapter 6

I suggest that you play the song when I tell you!!!
Enjoy <33

"I have some news cadets, in two weeks we'll have and expedition in order to capture four or at least two titans, that's all you have to know for now, any other information won't be a part of you're job." Captain Levi announced, I heard some of my friends complain from behind me. "Huh? so we'll just go out there risking our lives trying to capture some titans not even knowing the reason behind that?"

"Yes bald man that's exactly your job."

"Honestly even if we did know nothing is gonna change Connie, we'll go out there and fight? absolutely yes, so why being stubborn for no reason?"  I was actually confused, like why would they want to know such a secret information as if anything would change?  I also wonder where is Antoine? I haven't seen him after last night? he didn't attend training? what happened?

"Ah, that reminds me, Shree, my office after lunch." Uh oh, what is it this time? god please let it be a regular human-able task or I'd purposely kill my sel-

"Yes sir!" wow I'm such an angel, so polite and obedient, I smiled to myself.

"Someone's too happy to visit my dear office? aren't they?" he teased, wait?  Levi was teasing me? I'm sorry what? he literally thought that I was smiling because he wanted me to go to his office? PLEASE KILL ME NO HELL NO, FUCK!

"Oooooooo".

"Daaaaymmmn".

"Spicy".

"Steamyyyyyyy".

"Gooo get that dic-" Mikasa slapped Connie's mouth before finishing his sentence.

Armin, Sasha, Eren, Jean and Connie started uh? fangirling. to be honest I liked it, I loved it, my stomach did some flipping around and my knees felt weak to the point where I didn't know if I was anxious or exited, exited about the scene they made but absolutely not about going to his office because I knew that it was nothing unprofessional, I for sure know that this will be a very 'Pain in the ass' type of visit. Oh shit, that sounds bad...

I was walking to his office after lunch just like he had ordered.

I suggest that you play the song now!!!!

                                          KNOCK   KNOCK  KNOCK

"Name and business"

"Rose Shree sir, you asked me to come after lunch". The door opened few seconds later.                

"It is about the upcoming mission" He started.

"Elaborate please?" I requested.

"You'll help me train the brats as well as staying by me and the other captains and commander's side for a good while from now on-"

"Why me? what about Antoine?"

" The situation in the scout regiment is very complicated these days, we have so many recruits, and we need skilled people to be promoted in order to be ranked as captains, so we need a replacement for Antoine ASAP, last night he got into a very miserable fight and got dangerously injured, you are skilled enough to take his place, you'll be shadowing me from now on, it would be great news if he woke up and recovered , if that happened he will start shadowing Erwin and you'll keep on shadowing me. understood?" I stayed quiet for a while, letting his words sink in, I felt very nerves, that's not what I wanted at all.

This is a huge responsibility for me? I was shaking, my breath hitched and I felt cold.
 "Can I see Antoine?" I started tearing up, my emotions we not stable at the moment. I was worried about him and worried about this huge responsibility that I didn't sign up for.
"I'm afraid you can't."                                                       
 "I'm so confused sir... I'm scared." A shaky sigh escaped my mouth as I rubbed my arm while staring into nothing.
 "I have faith in you, I'm by your side no matter what cadet, I know this is tough but we dedicated our hearts..... dismissed."
 I left his office feeling numb all of a sudden. Shit, what was this for?  Maybe I should just purposely die in this upcoming mission..... I really don't wanna do this.

"Are you alright?" Armin asked me with a warm smile on his beautiful face.

"Yeah I guess" I rubbed my arm and smiled faintly.

"I uh.. you see it's just that I know you're lying!" He stuttered obviously not wanting to call me untruthful.
"I just god some bad news and.. Bad orders that's it.."

"Come with me.. I have something that maybe could help cheer you up a little, how about that?" 

"Sure." He took my hand and led me to the library , I was happy to come here, my favorite place ever.
 He sat me on a chair and showed me a book. "I want you to read this" He rubbed the back of his neck and left.

I stared at the book, I didn't touch it, this lasted for more that ten minuets. My heart was aching , how is Antoine? how am I gonna do this? how am I supposed to show everyone that I'm happy? Armin found out that I wasn't okay today!  I'm so stupid no one should see me changing! I should show them just how happy I am, they can tell that I'm changing and loosing my spark, I used to be able to hide my sadness and guilt all the time, they have never found out... I'm so tired. "Why? why do you hide it all?" I heard a voice questioning me, which means.. they heard me, it's my habit to talk to myself out loud so I'm not surprised by them hearing me. "I shouldn't! never!" I immediately responded.

"And your reason is? why you should not ?" He sat next to me and stared at me.

"That's a rule, they all told me to follow this rule. At home.. in the lap. Everyone said I should be cheery and I'm used to it." I stared into nothing for few seconds before noticing him... Wait. Armin left right after he gave me the book, I was too distracted to notice who took his chair. "Captain this isn't the first time you spay on me." 

"You were talking to yourself, what had you expected? I'd love to meet the ghost you're talking to." I didn't say anything. I stayed silent .

"You were forced to act happy in the lap you had to live in, right?" He guessed.

"I was never allowed to cry nor feel sad or creeped out" I decided to answer.

"No human emotions other than fake happiness allowed huh?". I nodded in response.

"And that's why you're always laughing and joking when I can easily see how your eyes beg for help, love and validation.......... parents were never there for you, fucked you up and showed you how useless and ugly you were, creeps forcing you to hurt your own loved ones and keeping a smile on your face while doing so, for the sake of training, people manipulating you and guilt tripping you until you eat yourself alive, seeing loved ones in the jaws of death and not being able to do shit.. I see, explains a lot." He explained my situation as if it was a piece of cake for him understand without me saying much about it. I started tearing up, my heart couldn't take it anymore, god hopefully I'll die in this upcoming expedition.

Hey yall! my apologies for this sad chapter :( honestly I'm not in the best state in life currently and it's effecting my writing, and that's why I'm disappointed  in myself because I shouldn't let my feeling effect this! anywayssss! who is exited for season 4 part two tomorrow?!!!?? I can't believe that it's actually tomorrow nor I'm ready lmao!

Byeeee!!!!