Teacher |H.S.|

twelve

GEORGIE

I wake up with a headache.

There's some drool down my cheek that I wipe away with the back of my hand, I run a hand through my hair and it gets stuck in a knot. A sigh leaves my lips as I untangle my hair, while I do that, I take a look at my surroundings and it's even worse than I remembered.

Yesterday after Joey left, I had a huge mental breakdown. The kind that makes you do drastic things to somehow make you feel better but they only end up doing more damage, making you even feel worse than you already felt. However, at first they feel amazing, the regret only comes later.

My room is a mess, my clothes are thrown everywhere, I don't even see that I have a floor anymore. The worst part is that my mirror is broken. It's one that has been hanging on my wall above my vanity table and yesterday I had a hard time looking at myself, ended up smashing the glass in a fit of rage.

I look down at my hand and it's only now that I feel it hurting a little, my knuckles are very red but I'm glad it's just that and I didn't get any glass stuck in my skin.

Dressing myself has never been harder. I had to get myself in that stupid uniform, in some way it reminds my brain that I failed. No matter what I do, nothing ever comes from it..

I make my way downstairs, a heavy feeling in my chest and an anxious one in my gut. I have no idea if Joey came home or not, I haven't seen Louis since the argument and I'm just nervous. I really hope that I will walk into the kitchen and see Joey and Louis having breakfast together, I don't even care if they would be all touchy and romantic this time.

"Morning Georgie."

Louis is standing behind the kitchen island, he's holding on to a cup of coffee. When I turn my head to look at the table, I don't see any sign of Joey or.

"He didn't come home, did he?" I ask, almost afraid to hear Louis confirm it.

"No.. he didn't." he answered me.

Tears burn into my eyes but I swallow them away, no time for tears now. I give him a weak smile and then move myself over to the kitchen island, I take my medication with some water and then take a few bites out of an apple I grabbed out of the fruit basket.

Louis and I are not talking, I think we both do not really know what to say. He's probably worried, both about me and about Joey. However, it's odd, I've never known Louis to be so quiet.

"I'll be off to school.." I announce.

"Behave and try to have some fun, Joey will be back when you come home." Louis smiles at me, trying to cheer me up.

"I hope so." I smile weakly.

On my way to school, I sneak in a few cigarettes. Probably not the best idea this early in the morning but I don't really care. Niall texted me, told me that he was going to head straight to school, something about how he needed to ask his bio teacher a question before class starts.

Yesterday, I didn't show up in detention. Niall went, he told me Elle was there aswell and even fucking Jason showed up. Hearing that made me realize even more how bad I'm doing, no wonder Joey doesn't want to take care of me anymore..

The whole walk to school, the only thing I can think about is how my life is falling apart. I'm only eighteen, shouldn't life still be easy at this point? I don't think that life is supposed to feel like this.. it's supposed to be wonderful, I should be having the time of my life. People say these are supposed to be the best years of your life, if that's true, then I don't even want to live to see my future.

Once I enter the schoolyard, I feel like I get some looks from people. Ever since I pulled my little stunt and smacked Jason in the face, some people finally seem to realize that I exist. Which might not be a good thing.  Some of them seem to like me but most of them hate me. No.. it's not really hate, they just can't stand the fact that all of the sudden I'm on their radar, especially the 'popular' girls who think I'm just an attention seeking whore.