Teacher |H.S.|

twenty-three

*A little sad ngl..*

GEORGIE

The sun is finally rising, I have been seated in my windowsill and it feels like I've been waiting for years for it to finally be morning. I haven't been able to sleep, everytime I close my eyes and I'm left alone with my thoughts, Harry's words shoot through my mind.

"Why are you up so early?"

I turn my head and spot Niall who has made his way into my room. He's bare chested, only wearing some sweatpants, his hair is messy and sleep is still filling up his eyes which makes them puffy. He looks both incredibly hot and adorable at the same time.

"I haven't gone to bed yet." I respond, locking eyes with him quickly before turning my head back to the view in front of me.

Niall walks up to me, sitting himself down in the window frame next to me and letting his legs dangle from the edge. It remains quiet between us, the only thing I'm hearing is the birds that are chirping and letting the world know that they're awake, ready for a new day. I wish I'd feel the same excitement they feel whenever the sun comes up.

"Are you alright?" Niall asks carefully, breaking the silence that was hanging over us.

"Not really." I answer him, keeping my eyes glued to the sunrise that's happening in front of me. I know that whenever I'll look at him, I'll start to cry and I'm afraid that once I start I might never stop. Besides, Niall has seen me crying once before and that's already one time too much for my liking.

"What's going on?" he questions me, trying to understand something he never will.

I place the cigarette that I was sneaking back in between my lips and take a big drag, allowing the smoke to fill up my lungs before I exhale. I don't even know what to tell him, I hardly know what's going on myself.

Besides that, I always feel a suspicious feeling rise up in my chest whenever I'm about to open up to someone. It's because I've been hurt in the past by people who knew a lot about me and I don't want that to happen again, because they usually end up using those things against me.

I want to trust Niall, I really do.. Even though I can't ever fully open up to him.

"It's.. uhm, I'm scared." I start to speak, not even really knowing where this is heading myself.

"Of what?" Niall places a hand on my thigh, wanting to show support but it only makes me shut my eyes and exhale deeply. Tears are burning and begging to be let free but I refuse, biting down on my cheek to stay strong.

"Scared at the thought that I have nobody who really likes me.. That nobody really wants to get to know me, they just want to use me. And most of all I'm scared that those thoughts I'm having might actually be true and not just things I make myself believe." I spit out my words before nervously taking another drag of my cigarette, hands shaking as I bring the stick up to my mouth.

"They're not true, Georgie.. those thoughts." Niall mumbles, trying to look me into my eyes. "I like you for you." he says, hand now moving to my free hand in an attempt to take a hold of it.

"Do you?" I shoot my words at him, turning my head and finally locking eyes with his blue ones. I can feel a tear escape and roll down my cheek. "Or are you just nice until I let you fuck me? Because that's probably the only thing people have ever liked me for, my body."

Niall is visibly startled by my words, I don't know if it's because he realised I'm onto him or if it's because I insulted him with what I just said.

"Don't ever think that again, please.." Niall begs as he reaches out to touch me again, this time he hesitates and makes himself pull his hand back before he gets to me, letting it rest next to him. "It's not because we flirt sometimes that it means I only like you for your body. Do you really think I'd hang around a girl for that long, waiting for her to fuck me if I didn't like her beyond her body?" he questions, a scoff leaving his mouth.