Emily Under The Weather

Chapter 1-No longer lying

Hello and welcome to my first Dickinson fanficiton, and my first big story of 2022. Anyways, all that's different here is that Emily did not write to Sue about being ill, because she's been faking and did not want to worry her. Now, enjoy! 

Austin seemed truly upset as he begged Emily not to die. It was at this moment that she realized what a fright she must have caused her family. The doctor thought she was really sick and from what she'd heard, on her deathbed.

"I'm not going to die Austin." Emily took her brother's hand in her own and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Emily, the doctor said there was absolutely no hope. He doubts you'll survive the night and by the looks of it he might be right." Austin looked away and Emily guiltily heard the pain in his voice. She could have taken offence to the looking sick comment, but her hair was damp from 'night sweats.' She stared at her brother, knowing how scared he must be and suddenly, despite writing the perfect poem, she wished she could take the whole week back and never be 'sick' in the first place. Still, she couldn't admit it was all false. She needed to appear to get better, but to be believable it couldn't be a miraculous recovery, it would take some time before she could fully reassure her loved ones that she was alright. Austin wiped tears he refused to let Emily see and he turned back to her. "Please don't die." He begged again and Emily sighed sadly.

"Everyone dies someday, but I'll try to make that day in the far future." Austin didn't seem too reassured and Emily knew that no matter what she said, the doctor's opinion would keep him up, wondering if she had passed yet.

"I love you Emily," he says, with a small and sorrowful smile. Then Austin left the room and Emily let her face fall as she realized how bad she'd let her charade become. Emily wished she had gotten a chance to say the words back, but her brother left before she'd gotten the chance. The town probably thought she was dying too and the poor family with the most recent case of Yellow fever probably thought they'd gotten her sick. Emily was trying to think through how to slowly appear to improve, but then she felt a real headache coming on. That's odd. She thought to herself, I'm not really sick. Emily suddenly felt quite tired and she wondered if the sleepless nights of her writing the past week were catching up to her. Not to mention that she hadn't eaten much of anything to keep up the illusion. Emily didn't want to sleep, she wanted to plan her miraculous but believable recovery. However, her wishes seemed unimportant and she slipped into a deep sleep.

The Dickinson family, minus Emily, sat around the breakfast table in downtrodden silence. Maggie offered tea, but Mr Dickinson shooed her away, his head in his hands. Emily infuriated him quite often and he wished that she would act more like a proper lady almost every day, but now he only wished that she was better. They were sitting around the table in silent denial, as the doctor told them she would most likely pass over night. No one wanted to go up to her room and realize his prediction to be true. They wanted to sit at the table and ignore what they believed to be the truth, that Emily was dead. After a bit of time, in which no one had bothered to touch their food, Maggie returned with a sympathetic look.

"Would you like me to go check on young Ms Dickinson?" she asked, knowing that no one was able to bring themselves to check on her as of yet. Mr Dickinson nodded ever so slightly and Maggie nodded back sadly. She expected the same as the rest of the family, not including Lavinia, who was blissfully hoping that her sister did not have Yellow fever.

Maggie climbed the stairs to Emily's room, her heart aching a little bit. Emily was not her family, but as the maid she had gotten to know the young poet to a certain degree and the idea that she was about to find Emily dead was eating at her. She reached Emily's door and her hand hovered on the doorknob. She took a shaky breath and sighed. Emily should not have been taken so soon. Opening the door Maggie walked inside and stared at the young girl who appeared as if she was slumbering. Then her chest rose and Maggie nearly cried out in shock.

"Emily?" she asked, but the girl did not stir. Maggie leaned on Emily's bed and felt the girl's cheek and forehead. Before she saw Emily's chest rise, she expected the girl's skin to be cold to the touch, but now she was both relieved as she felt the warmth of Emily's face. She was running a fever for sure, but she was not dead. The relief that flooded through Maggie immediately turned to pity and pain as she realized that Emily was still ill and her survival of the night meant her suffering was only to be prolonged. "Oh, Emily," Maggie sighed, blinking back tears. 

Standing up straight and brushing her dress off, Maggie wet a cloth with cool water and placed it on Emily's forehead. She stirred slightly for a moment, but continued to sleep. Maggie was oblivious to Emily's earlier faking of the illness, but in truth Emily was really sick now and it wasn't an act. Emily continued to sleep as Maggie left her room and made her way downstairs. Walking into the dinning room, she saw the looks of despair on the Dickinson family's faces. She was uncertain how to break the news that their daughter was alive. It wasn't good news because the doctor was certain she wouldn't get better, but yet somehow she had lived through the night. Still, Maggie believed the doctor above all else so she decided to not give the family much hope.

"Mr Dickinson," Maggie spoke softly, but was cut off.

"Don't say it, I already know." He sounded so upset.

"But Mr Dickinson, sir," Maggie flashed a brief smile. "Emily is alive."

"What?" Austin and his father said in astonished unity.

"It's still not looking too good Mr Dickinson. Emily seems to be worse as she now has a fever and she hardly stirred when I put a cloth on her forehead." Maggie followed through on her internal promise to not give the family hope, but she wished that she could have.

"Oh, this is all my fault." Austin said suddenly.

"Whatever do you mean?" Mrs Dickinson demanded. The information that Emily had lived through the night was still working it's way into her brain.

"I begged her not to die and she said she would try to push off death a little longer," Austin sighed. "I've only prolonged her suffering." The table fell quiet again.

"None of us want her to go, but if it's her time," Mrs Dickinson's voice broke ever so slightly and tears that she swiftly wiped away streaked her cheeks. Mr Dickinson rose from the table without a word and strode off to his office. Lavinia looked to her mother, who took a shaky breath as she stood to clear the table. Lavinia helped her mother and took Austin's plate and then reached for Emily's before she realized that it wasn't there.

"I'm going to go talk to Emily." Austin announced, standing from the table.

"She's asleep right now. I doubt she'll hear a word you'll say." Maggie bowed her head as she reminded the oldest Dickinson child. Austin didn't care. He had to see his little sister. Walking past Maggie Austin went straight to Emily's room. 

That's the end of chapter 1. Thank you for reading, and I hope this year has been kinder to everyone than the past two have been. Next chapter will be posted soon, and if you're a little confused I'll remind everyone again, this takes place during 1x6 of Dickinson (A Breif, but patient illness)