ᵍᵒᵈˡʸ • ˢᵒᵘᵗʰ ᵖᵃʳᵏ

[3]

⇾ FIRST WOUND

Night falls, and always seems to kiss your cheeks and paint them pink with the cool, comfortable glow of the moon. You would say you'd always felt close to it, but that might be silly or cliche. No one's closer than anyone else to the moon. We're all here together burning.

You'd been aching all day, and not from the cold. That didn't mean you didn't feel cold. Even under three different blankets with a variety of textures, thickness, and color, you had barely managed to stop shivering when you got home. Maybe you were getting sick.

You could name plenty of things at the moment making you feel very sick, every one of them having nothing to do with any kind of virus.

Your phone chimed but you didn't move to check it yet. Since that photo had gotten out, people didn't seem to like you much. You couldn't put your finger on exactly why you thought that, though it could very well be the nasty messages and even one death threat that had been lining your inbox all day. You didn't even bother reading them anymore, but you still grabbed your phone and held it in your hand.

In flicking on the screen, you were pleasantly surprised to see a message from Stan at the top of your notifications. But any feelings with a synonym of pleasant quickly faded as your stomach twisted into a knot. He probably hated you worse than anyone. You clicked on the message still.

"Are we still on for tonite?"

Are we still on for tonight... Fuck. You didn't know how, considering he was mostly all you'd been thinking about lately, but you'd completely forgotten about agreeing to meet with him. You jumped out of bed, the loud crash of your foot colliding with a pile of dirty dishes on your floor nearly startling you enough to make you lose balance. You composed yourself though, quickly fumbling to type back a "ues"

You followed it with another message, correcting your typo, "Yes". As much as you dreaded seeing him right now your heart still raced at the thought and it would be just a shame to let this perfect opportunity to spill your heart out go to waste.

As you ran the comb through your hair and pulled on your favorite shirt you thought about how badly you wished things were different. Wished you could go back in time, but even then you didn't know exactly what you would do differently. Well, stay clear of Mr. McCormick that's for sure, but sometimes it seems that things just fall into your lap. You get misunderstood, things fall out of your hands until you just have no control anymore. People are evil for no reason, but when the curtain falls and the days over the only one you can ever seem to truly blame is yourself.

You tried not to look so sad, examining yourself in the mirror and giving a little spin before picking out some comfy socks. Just then your phone chimed again and you could see from the lock screen that Stan declared he was outside. "Already??" you groaned to yourself, but you could see headlights softly beaming through your bedroom window. You popped a stick of gum in your mouth and raced out the door.

Stan reached over and opened the door for you from his own seat just as you were racing down your front steps. He had always done that when you were dating. It gave your heart a tiny pinch, but you still jumped in the front seat.

A hard rock song poured out of the radio so loud you could feel the vibrations in the floorboard. He let it sit for a moment, not driving or anything but just looking at you. Not even looking at you, seeing you. Knowing you. Sometimes you thought that Stan knew you better than anyone in the whole world. Even now. Or, especially now maybe. Even if you weren't together you still held this understanding, and you really felt like no matter what happened, maybe you always would.

He finally turned down the radio and shifted the car into gear, but by then you were already so nervous you thought you might puke. "Hey Stan.." You spoke softly with a coy smile. He glanced at you, his expression void, "Hey." You couldn't keep still, fiddling with your thumbs and running them along one another back and forth on your lap. You hoped you didn't look so freaked out, or maybe it would make him feel good, knowing you are.