ᵍᵒᵈˡʸ • ˢᵒᵘᵗʰ ᵖᵃʳᵏ

[5]

⇾ VAPID

The tears still dripped off Stan's snotty nose when he finally did raise his head to look at you. His chest still rocked with the pace of his deep breathing and mile a minute heartbeat. You traced your fingers down his back, barely able to feel his rib cage but you could still make out the individual divots that they made even through his cotton shirt.

"It's okay baby.." You soothed, your tone honest yet fragile. He'd started kind of rocking himself back and forth midway through the sob fest, but you clung to him the whole way, not saying anything until now, but there was a thousand sweet nothings summed up in your presence. "Let it all out.."

When he inhaled deeply you could hear a snot bubble pop in his nose. He met your eyes glumly and his entire body still shook with the shock of it all, just like you. You gave him a tiny smile but he didn't return it.

"I'm so glad you're with me.." He spoke finally, almost too quiet for you to hear. "Huh?" you asked, even though you'd understood clearly. "I.. I guess I'm just so glad your here. This would be nice someday, to have a place of our own. Always be around each other." He looked away, almost coyly. You rubbed his knee and thought to yourself, yeah right psycho.

There was definitely a time when you'd yearned for the same thing though, that was undeniable. You often let the hours pass you by, reminiscing about the nights you used to spend together, just holding each other and sharing daydreams of the future. The bittersweet memories sent a pang through your heart.

"Just think baby, it's our senior year. One more year and we're out of here. We can go anywhere.." You told him confidently, praying the fear in your eyes didn't smother out the flame of hope burning through your tone.

He had to let you leave eventually. All you had to do was hold out your palm and watch him gobble up all his favorite flavors of soothing lies, "I'll be your own little star. In your pocket, to keep. Like your lucky charm." You gave him a slow kiss on the cheek and then pulled back a little, letting yourself rest on his shoulder as you kept your eyes locked on him, beaming right into his face.

You earned the tiny smile he offered, but it made your own spirits just sink even lower. He knew where you live, knew your parents, all your friends, day to day schedule. He knew exactly where to find you at nearly every second of every day. There was no way you could tell anyone about this, ever. You'd been lying through your teeth when you'd made all these promises of course, but now it looked like for the moment at least, you were backed into a corner.

He reached for your skin but you recoiled, flinching hard. He looked like he might just burst into another wave of tears for a moment in seeing your reaction, but he took a deep breath and blotted your own tears from the corner of your eyes. "Sorry.." You said quietly, hating yourself a little for feeling guilty, but you couldn't even explain why you felt that way.

You let your eyes flutter closed, basking in the warmth that came with his skin against yours. He let the backsides of his fingers drip down your cheek, then turning his wrist to let his soft palm cup your skin. He could feel the tickle of all the little peach fuzz against his thumb as he continued stroking lightly. He didn't even have to open his mouth to tell you he wished to live in this moment forever.

After a few more moments he took a deep breath and got to his feet, raising his hands for a stretch. His back cracked and the sound still echoed inside your head when he turned to help you up. You grabbed his hands tightly and let him pull you up. Another moment was spent with you standing close, his grasp still tight around your lightly closed fists as he peered into your eyes. Yours were fixed on the drips of blood on the floor, his harsh gaze felt like a test but when you turned to look at him the gesture was soft.