Prosecuting The Victim, Gender Biases, and The Psychological Impact of Injustice

Chapter 25: First Love: The Relationship With Celta - The first few months

In the last chapter, I mentioned that Celta had moved into an apartment in Augusta, Georgia after leaving the hospital. That didn't go so well. Her problems were an enormous challenge. Her weight was so low that I feared she might die. She was also drinking when she left the hospital.

I will point out later how our love, her love for me, was influential in helping her to overcome problems that had clearly been part of a long pattern for her life prior to when she met me. Before I get to that, I wanted to describe some more details about what was happening during these next few months.

After she lost her apartment, I put her up in a hotel one evening but that didn't go well. She couldn't stay there and we had to find a place for her.

Finally, she said she had a mother in Athens Georgia. So, we started driving there.

When we got there and knocked at the door her mother came and her first reaction was to turn her away. I didn't say anything, but I had such a desperate look on my face. It's sad but that might have been very influential in her mother – Faye Head – opening the door and letting her in.

I gave her a hug and got her phone number; told her I would be back to visit as soon as possible.

Soon after that, her father rented an apartment for her in Athens.

I met some other friends of hers and her family. It was curious that one of them, a woman said that Celta only uses people and that she cannot love anyone. This was clearly not true. Celta was doing so much that demonstrated she was thinking of me and concerned about my well-being and happiness.

It's important to note that I was living with my parents at the time. This was a temporary situation. I cannot overstate how profoundly disinterested my parents seemed to be in me and my life, my dreams, hopes, aspirations, and desires!

I loved to hear about Celta's talents. She had studied acting beginning before she was in high school.

It was Sunday. April 15th, a week before my birthday. It was a bit cool this morning as we arrived at the Botanical Gardens in Athens. She had suggested this place.

The sun was passing through the misty morning fog as we walked along a path. I reached out to take her hand, feeling as if something emotional was rippling through me at her touch. It was still early in the day and Celta was wearing a white coat made of soft cotton. I was warm-natured and only had a short-sleeve shirt on.

"Can I take off this glove?" I asked. "My hand will keep your hands warm."

She smiled as we gazed at the misty sun above and ahead. This felt so good and right. I felt awkward at first as I saw another couple. Celta and I were not a "couple" per se. I let the thought go. This felt too good.

Her hand was so very thin. As I mentioned, she had anorexia and was very much underweight. I could feel her tiny fingers intertwined in mine which sent a certain particular feeling flowing up my arm, almost like a chill or a soft rippling stream flowing up my arm. Her smile as she gazed at me gave me butterflies. I felt a lightness, almost like floating. I felt serene. And I smiled back.

What did she see in me, I wondered?

"This is nice... good," I said. Adding with a slight chuckle, "I have always wanted to feel this. I mean even as a kid. It is like a hunger that I forgot that I had or that I was too afraid to acknowledge..." I then added, "maybe acknowledging it would have made life too sad because I would know that I wanted something that wasn't available."

She understood that I was talking about what had been missing in my family. Celta always seemed to know when things had not been going well at home.

We developed synchronicity of mind and thought... respect and love... yes, respect and love felt like it was not something I had known previously. This was strange because Celta and I had what seemed like a completely platonic relationship and I have had supportive friends previously. My friends Thomas and Jo-Lee were real good friends, but the way Celta looked at me was different.