Once again in the Bookstore

Chapter 4

You always seem so lonely. In your smile, something is broken. Even though you're polite towards the people that come into the store, no matter if they're young or old, you always remain mysterious. Something inside of you, that I can't quite understand yet, has been shattered.

„This is my room!"

Odna was leading me into a big room upstairs. It looked a lot more modern than mine. A lot of white, black and grey colors on the furniture, yet a few light decorations and flowers were filling up some space. Most of the shelves were sorted and everything inside of that room seemed to have a place. I sat down carefully on the chair and kept looking around a bit. Odna let herself fall down on her bed, but sat up again to look at me.

„So, Girls, Huh?"

In surprise I started to blink fast as I felt myself blushing again as I looked down to the ground. However she just chuckled at me for that.

„Is there a reason, or was it just always your preference?"

We looked at each other as I started to overthink for a little moment before I became uncertain.

„I... I guess it's just always been that way. At some point, I was willing to have someone, if... if that makes sense. I- I used to have, but..."

I was lacking words, and if I had them, they'd not come out of my mouth. There was no actual reason to tell her whatever happened to me, and yet, she was the only one in a long time who'd show me attention. I could see it in her eyes as well, she was curious. Whatever was I supposed to say? Gently Odna tilted her head as she started to grin. Embarrassed I decided to look at the ground again. My mind was trying to find another topic to talk about, but it seemed as helpful as a stone. I took a breath and started to talk again.

„... I used to have someone. She used to go to school as well so, I was able to see her whenever she'd come around. At first, the only place we spent time together at was in the bookstore, we had the same interest and it was quite calming to know that I'm not alone with that hobby. One evening we happened to have a fight, unluckily on the streets. It was just... pure rage and it kept piling up. My memory starts drifting off at that point, but with certainty we hurt each other, until supposedly I had to go back to the hospital once again."

As I paused for a moment, I saw Odna's eyes looking sad at me.

„She, uhm... came back a few weeks later and we tried to make up somehow, but it wasn't really worth it, not even as friends. We were both filled with guilt and a bit of anger still, so we decided not to interact again. I think she even moved away with her family."

It remained silent for a while. It was as if Odna would try to say something comforting, but no words came out of her. After watching her for a moment, I looked away once again. It was hard for me to be looking at certain things or people for a longer amount of time, but I started feeling guilty for telling her the story. The whole situation became awkward because of me. But as I was about to apologize, Odna came up and hugged me. I sure wasn't expecting that, but I assumed it was her way of saying that she'd understand me a little better, or she was simply sad for me. Suddenly the doorbell was ringing, pulling us out of that moment as Odna told me to wait for her and rushed downstairs. Curious me couldn't help but to follow at least to the stairs though. Another girl was standing in front of the door. She had short light pink hair and was wearing a little ribbon as well as a long white coat with some brown boots.

„Greetings."

She smiled softly as Odna greeted her as well and let her in. Then she turned to the stairs where I was trying to hide and yelled someone's name, which made the other girl laugh.

„You always gotta do that?"

„Listen, it's not my fault he ain't looking at the clock. It's so hard to get him out of the bed every morning, because he „really likes his bed", you get me."

Again she smiled as suddenly a guy came running downstairs, somehow not really recognizing me, apologizing four times in a row and then greeting the girl with a little kiss. Odna Just looked at him.

„You should start putting reminders on your phone, really."

„Hey, I'm here now, am I not?"

She sighed.

„Well anyways, have you seen the others?"

He looked at Odna while putting his jacket and shoes on.

„Father wanted to go shopping with them, it's been like 30 minutes already though, so maybe they're doing a big shopping spree or something."

„Without me??"

„You weren't there, and Jolly is having her book night with the school, so she only came by to change bags and left again."

The short haired girl looked up to me, blinking a little questioning. Nervously I blinked as well but held my finger in front of my mouth, then pointing at Odna. Luckily she understood and nodded slightly, making it seem like she only was tightening her ribbon a little. This was the most interaction I've had with people in a while, and I slowly began to find joy in it. As both her and the guy left, I headed back to her room unnoticeable as Odna returned after a few seconds as well.

„Sorry, my brother's girlfriend came over. He always brags about the dates he has with her but keeps forgetting the time on exactly that day."

I only nodded a bit, unsure of what to say since I saw everything going on.