Piggy Book 3: The Adventures

ZOMBIE DEMON VS SPACE JESTER

Chris and The Jester stood there on opposite sides of the street. Then out of nowhere, like a bat out of hell The Jester jumped at Chris, street sign in hand. Chris put his hand out and was able to touch the Jesters forehead. Chris teleported both himself and The Jester into the middle of a barren wasteland. The Jester flew past Chris into the side of a rock formation. The Jester stood back up and turned around to look at Chris. Chris did the same. Chris stood there ready to charge at The jester. The both of them began to slowly walk to each other. "My master warned me of a strange force on this planet." The Jester said taking slow steps towards Chris. "You talk as if you've never seen any other "strange forces" before." Chris said. "I have. But they all are inferior. She sent me here to take your power. if she wants them, they're hers." The Jester spoke. At the same time both of them jump at each other. Chris came in with an over head swing and the Jester came in with an under hand swing. Their two weapons clashed into each other. The two pushed off of each other. Chris then smashed his axe into the Jester's face. The Jesters body stretched out from the blow like they were made of putty. "What the frick?!" Chris said. At that moment The Jester pulls his body back together ready to come in with an attack. The Jester came in and bonked Chris on his head. The Jester then jumped and kicked Chris in his chest. Chris stumbles backwards a bit. "I will kill you an then steal your soul!" Chris said. Chris than jumped into the air, Hammer in hand and came rocketing downwards at the Jester. The Jester flew upwards to meet Chris halfway. With a shout from the two otherworldly fighters they both clashed once more. Chris swung his hammer into the side of the jesters jaw knocking him away. Chris landed on the ground and ran after the Jester. Running past the Jester Chris slid to a stop and once the Jester was directly above him, Chris swung his Hammer into The Jester's back knocking him skyward. "Get Wrecked!" Chris shouted as he did that. Chris jumped into their to where he was right above the Jester this time and swung his hammer ground-ward at the Jester. The Jester managed to cushion most of the impact of the attack by blocking it with his street sign. The Jester fell onto the ground. Chris who was still airborne, threw his Hammer to the ground at The Jester with all of his force making the hammer catch Green fire during its travel to the ground. The hammer landed on the Jester's sternum, breaking it and causing a small explosion of green fire to happen.

Chris fell back to the ground on his feet. The Jester's sternum healed up and they tried to get it of their chest but it was like they couldn't move. The hammer wasn't crushing them or anything, but they just could get up with it on their chest. "I see that you've realized that your not going anywhere with that hammer on your chest." Chris said. "What is this!?" The Jester asked. "It's a weapon that was given to me by a Majin." Chris answered. "What?!" The Jester asked. "I'll spare you the details, but a Majin is a demon god." Chris said. Chris walked over to the Jester and snatched their Street sign out of their hands. "I've seen these thing over and over again, but never in my life have I ever thought they would make such effective weapons!" Chris said. "I think I'll hold onto this." Chris said again. "Not if I have something to do about it!" The Jester said. The Jester's body transformed into a liquid like substance and looked as if they were pulling themselves apart. The liquid substance split into two, letting the hammer fall onto the ground with a loud thud. The substance then looked as if it was turning solid again. From the ground arose two Jesters. And both of them spawned streets signs in their hands.

"Nani the f*ck!? Bro, what are some sort of knockoff Lobo!?" Chris asked the Jester in shock. At the same time both Jesters ran after Chris. The Jesters both spun around and and smacked Chris in both sides of his face. But Chris is a G and he ate that. Chris yelled at the top of his lungs and smacked both the Jesters with a wild fury of punches. After a good 5 seconds of punching, Chris hit one of the Jesters with a Shoryuken then turned around to give the other one Tatsumaki Senpukyaku. Knocking one into the air and the other one away into ground. Chris chases the one that went downward. Chris landed on its chest and started pounding his hammer into their face. "Die!" "Die!" "Die!" Chris kept shouting as he continued his attacks at a gradually faster rate with every swing. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Chris shouted getting faster. "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!" Chris said getting faster still. With every swing the crater in the ground that they were in would get bigger and deeper. The Jester on the ground was right on deaths door and Chris could feel that. "DID I SAY YOU COULD DIE!?" Chris asked getting mad that his toy was getting worn out. Chris swung his hammer one last time causing an explosion. When Chris stopped, he turned around and looked up seeing that the Other Jester was coming down on top of him. Chris jumped out of the way, letting the Jester come to a stop on the ground. "Before we continue. May I please know your name?" Chris asked. "I have no name, at least not one that you could ever possibly pronounce correctly. But you can just call me The Jester." The Jester said. "Ok then." Chris said disappointed at the lack of creativity in that name. The Jester went in at Chris. Chris quickly dropped his hammer and held out the street sign that he snagged off the Jester earlier. As Chris held the street sign in his hand, he turned it into a Hell weapon. Chris began to wind up a swing as the Jester got closer and closer. Chris than slammed his sign down onto the Jester as he was doing the same but going upwards. Both of them took to the sky's as they kept on relentlessly attacking one another. Chris has no experience using a street sign as a weapon but he was still giving the Jester a run for their money. Because Chris is almost like a Saiyan in the sense that Chris loves fighting and every time he gets the shiz slapped out his mouth, he still improves with every fight. The Jester smacked Chris in his mouth and then kicked him in his ribs knocking him back a bit. The Jester than stealthy appeared behind Chris and slammed his sign to the back of Chris's head knocking him down to the earth. The Jester flew past Chris on the way down, Flew back up at Chris and dropped kicked him back into the clouds. Once more the Jester flew past Chris as Chris was going up. The Jester than wildly swung his sign at thin air shooting a bunch of slicing waves at Chris. Chris flew into the Barrage of projectiles. Getting cut into a bunch of pieces. The bits and pieces of Chris fell back to the ground as blood rained from the sky. The Jester descended back to the ground and stood over Chris's remains. "I told you I would have to take you by force if you didn't come with me willingly. But you decided you wanted to pull a struggle so now we're here." The Jester said as he folded his arms. "No more waist if time. Let's get this over with." The Jester said. The Jester was about to Grab Chris severed heart. "OH, IM NOT DONE KICKING YOUR ASS YET!!!" Chris's voice spoke from nowhere. The Jester stopped what he was doing. Than in the blink of an eye the Bits and pieces of Chris began moving by themselves and were pulling themselves back together. Soon from the literal puddle of blood arose the Quasi Immortal Psychotic Vampire Zombie Demon Warrior. "SORRY! YA CANT KILL ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE KILLS YOU!!" Chris shouted with excitement to continue fighting. "How the fuck did he not die?!" The Jester asked themself in their head. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU NOT DIE!?! WHAT THE FUCK!?!" The Jester asked astounded at what he just witnessed.

"Can't kill something that's already died. And even if you did, you can't kill me the same way twice!" Chris said. The fight from that point on was incredibly one sided. The Jester got their ass destroyed. They thought they were an immovable object, but they were going up against an unstoppable force and molly-wopped. The Jester who got laid out on the dirt, sat their motionless as Chris approached them. Chris dragged his sign along the ground as he walked closer and closer to the Jester that got his ass folded like some origami. "You thought you was some hot shiz didn't you? You tried to take me on and now look at ya. Folded like some laundry on sunny day after getting soaked and dried. I'm telling you, this planet doesn't produce warriors like me anymore." Chris said as he took his time walking to the Jester. "Even there was two of you, I freaking had my way with you, PAUSE!" Chris said. "Dammit...Godammit...how did I lose?! That can't be possible!!!" The Jester said throwing fit. "Shut up. You don't have any room to be mad. You started this and this is your punishment for challenging me." Chris said stopping in his tracks as he was standing right next to the Jester. "You can return to your master when your dead, don't ever think of @-ting me again." Chris said raising the sign above his head ready to swing it at the Jester one final time. "Wait...please...stop...there is something important that I need to tell you...please hear me out before you end me..." the Jester requested laying out on the dirt. "What is it that you want me to know?" Chris asked. The Jester coughed up some strange liquid that didn't look anything like blood from his mouth. The Jester was trying to find whatever strength they had to even move their mouth and vocal cords to say what they wanted to talk about. Chris let down the street sign in his hand and laid the edge of it on the ground in the dirt.

It was silence but the Jester eventually spoke.

"...What?" Chris said as a shocked expression formed on his face.