a/n: full disclaimer i still dont rly understand nge, the series confused the heck out of me even after ive been reading about it, and i havent seen the more recent movies either, but i kind of know abt the loop theory so this is just a fluff/angst kawoshin oneshot, enjoy (if there are any nge on wattpad LOL) also i dont own any of the beautiful coverart
"Kaworu-kun, we really shouldn't be here! What if they need us, and–and–we won't be there, we won't have any way of knowing either–"
"Trust me Shinji-kun, they won't need us tonight. Besides, if an angel comes, you'd know it miles away." Kaworu tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice as he led his fellow eva pilot through the woods, searching for the clearing he knew was close by.
"But–"
"Shinji-kun, on the incredible off chance that something does happen tonight, I promise I'll take the blame. I'll tell them I kidnapped you or something." Kaworu found his friend's strong sense of duty touching, but the two of them had never been to the clearing together, not once in the countless times they'd met, and Kaworu was done playing by the rules. Nothing he tried ever worked, but the least he could do was try to make Shinji happy, even if just for one night.
"That's not what I'm worried about," Shinji huffed, doing his best to keep up with Kaworu. When the other boy said he wanted to show him something that night, he hadn't anticipated a half hour hike uphill through a dense forest being part of it.
"What if something happens, and Ayanami and Asuka have to deal with it themselves, and–and they get hurt..." Shinji trailed off, seriously considering turning around, although he undoubtedly would have gotten lost and the whole thing would've been counterproductive, so he followed the other boy closely instead.
"Well–we're almost there, we don't have to stay for too long, alright Shinji-kun?" Kaworu had swallowed thickly when Shinji clarified his reasoning for not wanting to go off. Shinji, who desperately sought approval and praise at every given turn, was significantly more worried about others coming to harm than getting in trouble. Of course, of course that was why, it was what had made Kaworu fall for him in the first place.
"Ka–Kaworu-kun!" Shinji cried abruptly. Kaworu turned around sharply and caught Shinji, who had tripped and nearly started falling down the mountain, with inhumanly fast reflexes. Hopefully the other boy was too caught up in the moment to notice.
"Are you alright?" Kaworu asked worriedly, picking up the flashlight he'd dropped and shining it all over his friend, searching for any cuts or scrapes. Shinji put up with enough pain as it was, most of it completely out of Kaworu's control, but he would hate himself to know that he had been the cause of any of it. Well–anymore than he was forced to inflict. He already did hate himself for that.
"I–yeah–yeah, I'm–I'm fine Kaworu..." Shinji mumbled, a bright red blush creeping up his cheeks as he glanced down at his and Kaworu's hands, which were still connected. Kaworu was too busy assessing the damage to notice his embarrassment.
"Hmm...I suppose so. Why don't you hold my hand the rest of the way, it's only another minute or two I think." Not waiting for a response, Kaworu turned and trudged onward, gently tugging Shinji behind after him. Meanwhile Shinji felt like his head was about to explode.
When was the last time he'd held hands with someone, really? Shinji didn't have friends, not really. Sure, there was Ayanami, but she was always so distant from him–and Asuka wanted nothing to do with him most of the time. Before then? Shinji was always lonely at school (even being bullied sometimes), at home–the point was he probably hadn't held someone's hand since before his mom died about a decade ago, and it was...it was weird. But a good weird? It was...an unfamiliar, but not unwelcome sensation, Kaworu's strong hand gripping his own shaky one tightly. He felt empty again when they finally reached the flat expanse of land they'd been headed to apparently, and Kaworu let his hand go.
YOU ARE READING
Pretend (Kawoshin)
RomanceShinji and Kaworu go stargazing the night before everything falls apart NGE loop theory au, Kaworu is stuck in a loop, watching humanity destroy itself over and over again, when all he wants is to be free, and to make Shinji happy (I don't own the c...