The Story of Us

Chapter Three

"If the story is over, why am I still writing pages?"

He stares at the ceiling in the dark, the only source of light being the shimmer of the moon that seeps through the window of his room. He grabs his phone to look at the time and groans in desperation.

03:25 am.

He turns and turns and turns but sleep seems to be so far away. His thoughts are filled with images of ocean blue eyes and he can't shake them out of his head even if he tries to.

He knew she was coming. Hell, he knew he would see her at some point of her trip, they share best friends after all. He thought he was ready, thought he would be perfectly fine, that he would handle being in front of her without screwing things up. Again. He failed, of course.

He gets up angrily and heads towards the kitchen to get a glass of water and hopefully clear his mind.

He opens the the door and steps out into the cold night, the freezing air hitting his face brutally, but he doesn't seem to care.

His mind travels back to a few hours before, when Haziran stood in front of him and he hated himself for what he saw in her eyes when she looked at him. The hurt he could read in the deep blue of her eyes hit him like a truck going at high speed right on his chest.

Looking back at the moment she left the island he knows he should have fought for her, for them.

He's always been aware of the huge mistake he commited the moment he gave up. But his mind kept telling him that he did it for her, for her future for-

For what exactly? Was it worth it giving up on her a year and a half ago only to have her hate him now? Was it worth it suffering for such a long time, only to fall back again into the same storm of feeling that never went away, but were only buried deep in a corner of his heart?

He wants to punch himself, wants to shake that craving he's been feeling since the moment he saw her again after such a long time.

He knows it's wrong, in too many ways, for too many reasons and mostly she doesn't deserve to keep on suffering because of him, she deserves to move on and be happy. Without him.

A sad laughter escapes from his lips. She probably did move on. She probably was just mad because he reminded her of what she went through because of him. But she probably moved on and the thought hurts more than it should because he's been trying so hard to move on too. Is he succeeding? He's not sure anymore. But even if it hurts, he hopes she's at least happy. That's why he didn't follow her to Izmir, that's why he gave up and chose to live without his heart, that's why it's probably for the best if she hates him now.

He's pretty sure that telling her that she's the one that left and judging by the look of hurt and rage she gave him, she did hate him, in fact.

He could've just been polite to her, he could've kept his distance and act like a decent human being, but no.

He had to go and say too much, too soon, too harshly.

You just never learn, Poyraz.

———

Haziran leaves the house at sunrise to go for a run.

She didn't sleep well at all and woke up moody, so she decided it was a good idea to go burn out her anger a little before returning home to go have breakfast with her mom and Naz.

She still finds it weird that Zeynep has such a close and personal relationship with her assistant, but she guesses it's a good thing, since the people she's liked in her life are very..few.