Disguised In Lavender

Part 19

A sharp knock on the door woke Lauren the next day, her stomach growling and her head pounding with alcohol. Groaning as she sat up, she clumsily made her way to the door with eyes still half shut and barely opened it. There stood Ann, two steaming cups of coffee in both hands as she gazed up at the rider with pleading blue eyes. Lauren froze, unable to tear her now wide awake stare from the girl before her as her breath caught. "I'm not sure if you'll let me in, I wouldn't. Um, I've got coffee, thought maybe you'd need it." Ann's voice was small as she held out the coffee mug to Lauren as if for proof but kept her eyes down.

"Come in." Was all the purple haired could manage, shocked that the younger had the guts to show up. She moved aside slightly and Ann dipped her head, cautiously entering the dorm and placing both cups on the side table beside Lauren's bed. Silence fell between them, their gazes locked, Lauren too surprised to speak and Ann anxiously awaiting her words. "I'm sorry this is just- you came, I didn't think you'd come." Gently shutting the door behind her, the rider placed a hand on her cheek and bit her bottom lip thoughtfully.

The sudden bleary memory of Ann's final outburst the night before dawned on Lauren and she took a step closer. "You didn't quit did you, oh my god Ann please tell me you haven't been to the stables." A look of genuine surprise crossed the blonde's face but she quickly recalled the memory as well. She raised a hand to the back of her hand and chuckled lightly, shuffling her feet and avoiding Lauren's eyes. "No, I think I thought about it but honestly, I-I couldn't." Ann admitted as she slid down onto Lauren's bed, glancing up at her with a small sheepish smile that made her laugh.

How could Lauren ever apologize? Her lips paused mid-sip from the hot coffee and her eyes floated towards Ann laying beside her watching The News. "We need to talk about it eventually, we weren't drunk enough not to remember." Lauren admitted ruefully, sitting up straighter and bouncing her weight closer towards Ann who sighed. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why- I don't know what I was thinking at all." Her voice cracked in apology as she clicked off her phone and glanced with teary eyes at the older girl. Lauren stayed silent for a moment, the conflict battling within her between the memories and the lips before her.

The war ended as she abruptly leaned forward and slid her hand behind Ann's neck, gently pressing their lips together. She drew back and clenched her jaw, taking a slow breath as she examined the blonde's astounded expression. "Well, that finalizes it." Lauren murmured, tearing her eyes away and tucking her hair behind her ear, unable to hide the blush. Please don't be mad, Lauren begged as she looked back up at Ann who was still frozen, just kiss me back, she begged. Ann only hesitated for a moment as she pulled Lauren closer, shifting over and straddling the rider with her hands shifting to the small of her back. The surprise wore away quickly and she responded to Ann's advance, her hands sliding up the back of her thighs. This was how love was supposed to feel, Lauren breathing slowly as the blonde sat back, giggling.

A moment of silence showed their pure shock and slowly, Ann leaned forward to gently peck Lauren back to reality. That's when the tears began to trickle down her cheeks, the memory overpowering her bliss and suddenly everything hurt. "Lauren, breath, are you alright?" Ann asked, sitting back and letting Lauren pull her knees to her chin and bury her face away. It wasn't okay, her heart was pounding and pure fear settled into the pit of her stomach. Ann gently ran her hand along Lauren's head, crawling beside her and laying her head comfortingly on her lap. Closing her eyes, she waited until the older girl could calm down and slowly stretched her legs out, gazing down at a nearly sleeping Ann.

Sunlight streaming down onto her, Lauren found her panic slowly dying away by the gentle motion of Ann's chest rising and falling. "Don't regret it, please." She whispered, tilting the blonde's chin and making her eyes flutter open and she sat up on her own, gazing at Lauren. "Is it worth it?" Her question stunned Lauren and she examined Ann carefully, she was so perfect, her eyes and her lips, the way she left her hand on her thigh without a word. This was the woman Lauren wanted so badly yet couldn't bring herself to admit it, even after everything.

She had nothing to offer Ann that she couldn't get from someone else, she could lose her in an instant. "Yes." The words dripped from her lips before she even thought them over, Lauren knew it was worth it, even through her disdain. "It's so worth it." She added, leaning closer to Ann and kissing her lips with her hands pulling her closer, just inches closer until there was no room. Not knowing what to do, Lauren just kept holding onto Ann even after she'd broken their contact. "I don't want to just be your friend." The trainer admitted, leaning her head on the older's shoulder and staring up at the ceiling pleadingly.

"I couldn't stand it even if you wanted to." Lauren agreed, knowing fair well it was more true than anything, she pressed her chin against Ann's head. "So why did you cry?" She asked calmly, fanning Lauren's fingers out and pressing them against her nonchalantly, comfortable in the older girl's arms. Ann felt her pause, the catch of breath making the breath combing through her hair pausing and the hand in hers stiffening. "I like girls, always have. Isn't there some statistic like 76 countries outlaw people like that?" Lauren asked, the disgust clear in her rasping voice and forced scoff.