To Live

Chapter Three

I shook my head, still grinning, listening to Claire hum and cleaning up after breakfast. Once the dishes were done, I quickly retreated out of the kitchen, Claire and Sherry having come out to claim it in preparation of this afternoon's picnic.

I nursed the last bit of coffee to give myself an excuse to watch them as they cheerfully discussed what they could make that was "good picnic food". Even catching a bit of Sherry's first lesson in handling a knife and chopping vegetables.

She was adorable with her face scrunched up in concentration; razor focused on her task. Claire guided her first few strokes, correcting her grip on the handle, and watched her with patient affection.

Reluctantly, I drained my cup and shrugged into my tan coat to go assess the wood pile. They had yet to get more than a dusting of snow that seemed to melt on contact with the ground, but he knew they would need to be prepared for a storm or blizzard soon. Mother nature had been merciful to them during the month and a half long trip here and that streak of luck would surely run out.

Scattered memories of the journey from where the train had dumped them just outside of Paducah, Kentucky up the east coast to Maine flittered through my mind. Some parts dark and awash with pain, others multihued and filled with warmth, but always two colors were ever present: deep crimson and brightest gold.

'My girls,' I thought and the warmth was there again blossoming in my chest. I knew without a doubt one of two things would have happened if I didn't have them with me: I would have either ended up drowning in guilt and drink or putting a bullet in my head to stop the pain. God knows those first 48 hours after we had escaped had been some of the roughest of my life. The Night had passed mostly in an adrenaline-fueled blur with a few moments standing out in sharp relief like Claire's smile as she shrugged so nonchalantly while "just surviving" and Ada's scream as she fell. When the adrenaline had worn off the details had started to creep in... faces, names, my whole world had shattered and taken my dreams and confidence along with it or at least I had thought so at the time.

Making my way out to the wood shed attached to the side of the house I marveled again at how strong my companions were. Whenever he had started doubting Claire was right there with her eyes flashing fire and telling him again that she was only there because of his fast actions at the gas station, and Sherry would give him a hug and tell him how happy she was that he was with them.

The shame of being reassured by the small child (who had far more right than he to be a broken mess) had been a blow at first, but it got easier when he was able to help them in return. Not that he was happy when they struggled, he would have traded anything to take that pain from them, but it was nice to be able to give back; to feel useful. They really were his saving grace and he had vowed to do everything in his power to keep them safe.

'I wonder if our other children will have end up with my sandy blonde or their mother's beautiful reddish locks?' The thought pushed its way to the front of my mind, unbidden, startling me with its wishful undertone before the full implication hit me.

My ears and face blazed with heat. 'Where the hell did that come from, Kennedy?!' I asked myself in shock. 'A little presumptuous don't you think? You're not even dating, let alone married!'

As my panic subsided, I decided it was all the fault of my earlier line of questioning with Claire. I forced myself to shove everything to do with that thought into a box and get back to the task at hand.

I noticed that it had been pretty well stocked, but having never really lived in a place that relied on oil and wood for heat the half empty bay closest to the house looked worrisome and I set off to remedy that.