eldia

6 | the ball

❦ quick note there's a lot of songs used in this chapter, u can listen to them or not but they're just recommended!! they're also all in the playlist!!

tw: talk about blood, wounds/cuts/scars, etc.

❧

Jean dreaded coming to work this morning and for obvious reasons. He didn't get much sleep last night because he kept replaying the heated conversation on the roof.

He had always known you as upbeat, energetic and bubbly. That's how everyone knew you. People rarely ever saw you angry or sad. Most of them were oblivious to the fact that it was because you could take away those emotions from yourself.

For the first time, he saw you angry. Like really angry. He couldn't get your furious face out of his head. Not just mad but hurt too. He kept seeing the tears that poured out of your eyes each time you blinked.

He felt horrible. Truly. He didn't even have the courage to tell his mom about it when he got home that night.

He also felt bad for not sticking around to sing happy birthday to you but he honestly didn't think you'd want to see him there anyway.

He wanted to apologize. Well, more like he needed to. He wasn't going to apologize for getting on to you because he still felt the same way, disappointed in what you did. That didn't change. But what he did want to apologize for was how he said it all.

He also wanted to apologize for all the years before that.

After he clocks in, he begins to walk to your room as slowly as possible. He had rehearsed his apology over and over in his head all night and on the way to work but he knew the second he saw you, his mind was going to go blank.

The closer he gets to your bedroom, the more his stomach twisted up into tangled up knots. Not only had he not slept but his nerves were eating him up inside. He felt unbearably nervous.

He notices that the paints he left at your door are gone so that was a clear indication you received not just his gift but his note as well. He prayed that somehow helped ease the tension.

In his hands, he held two cups of hot coffee. He figured this was also another peace offering even though he couldn't recall ever seeing you drink coffee. At this point, he was just reaching for something.

He leans up against the wall across your bedroom door and waits like he always does. It's still early in the morning so the castle was at its most quiet right now but not nearly as quiet as it is at night.

Since it was so quiet, he could make out noises coming from behind your bedroom door. He could hear indistinct muttering that he connected quickly to Mikasa's voice. Then, there was the obnoxious sound of your laughter.

Well, she's laughing. That's a good sign, right?

Not even realizing it, his foot was tapping rapidly against the floors causing the sound to echo down the empty hall.

Suddenly, the door swings open and you're smiling brightly when it does so he feels temporary relief which quickly disappears when your smile drops just as fast.

You freeze in place and Mikasa bumps into you from behind. "Ow! Why did you stop?"

He does the same, standing up taller and stiffer. "Oh, uh, goodmorning Princess." He bows before you.

You bowed? Seriously? And you just had to call her princess too.

"Morning." You curtsy awkwardly. You look at Mikasa for help but she just stands there with her lips curled as she tries her absolute hardest not to laugh.