eldia

24 | these violent delights

TW: graphic violence scenes, blood, death. don't say i didn't warn you!!! this chapter is probably one the chapters i was dreading writing the most but it's necessary for the story to progress so i uhhh apologize in advance! don't hate me too much.

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Jean sits up from the cement bench he was asleep on. His back and neck were cramped up in all the wrong places.

Dust was floating around him in the pale sunlight that shined through the window that was merely the size of his hand.

He looks at the bars in front of him. Dull, dry and evenly apart. He had been in this cell ever since last afternoon and he was already sick of it after such a short time. He understood why criminals ended up going insane in their cells.

Based off the position of the sun, he figured it was maybe late morning. Probably around 10am. He was still due to spend his entire day in here before he was released at night.

He tries to stretch his limbs to get his strained muscles moving correctly again. The worst part about getting your heart broken by a woman is when her family locks you in a jail cell with nothing to distract you from the pain.

As angry as he wanted to be with you, he couldn't. Even with his snippy comments and insults he threw your way yesterday, he had grown to feel guilty.

Even though it was your decision that was made, none of this was your fault. He made the choice to follow after you when he was specifically told to bring you home immediately. He made the choice to lie in letters that he hadn't found you when in actuality, he was with you the entire time.

It was his decision to kiss you, even if it were you whom asked him to. It was his decision to do everything else that proceeded after. He couldn't blame you for all of it. He knew what he was doing and he always had the option to say no.

He wasn't forced to do any of it. He did it because he wanted to. For that very reason, he was content with his punishment because he knew that indulging in such a sin could not go without such.

He fell for a engaged woman. His best friend's younger sister. His employer's daughter.

He knew you were trying to save his reputation and his life. You would take all the heat and all the blame, just for him to not lose anything.

But as a man, he couldn't let you do such a thing. He had to take responsibility for his actions. He couldn't run from this. He didn't want to lie and pretend he didn't love you when he so clearly did.

After everything, after his long night of sleeping in a cage and on a cement bench in an ancient dungeon, he still couldn't find it in himself to blame you.

All he wanted was to see you. He hadn't seen you since you both arrived back home and it was driving him crazy. He went from seeing you everyday to not seeing you at all. It pains him to know that's how it will be from now on.

He felt like an addict who quit drugs cold turkey. No slowly pulling back or minimizing dozes. It was straight to the point. The two of you never to see each other again.

He found himself wondering if they'd allow him to say goodbye to you considering he will be banished and could never return. Not that you'd be here for much longer anyway. He was banned from Eldia, not Cicily.

But then again, would he really ever go to Cicily to see you? Wasting his time and money to go to a place where he'll have to endure you married to another man and eventually carrying his children? The idea made him absolutely sick to his stomach.

Maybe it was as you told him that night in his backyard. This was how it was meant to be. You were to get sent off to marry a prince and be queen to a land of people just as compassionate as you are, and he was meant to go to Marley like he always planned and live the life he thought he wanted.