eldia

9 | the selfish act

You hear the sound of someone coughing off in the distance. You couldn't tell if it was someone in your dream or in real life.

You turn the other way in bed, pulling the silk covers over your head in attempt to block out any noise. A few moments after, you hear the sound of faint whispering before the sound of a door closing shut replaces it.

As you feel the silk sheets against your cheek, you realize you're back in your room and not in Kai's anymore. You sit up and rub at your puffy eyes that were still sensitive.

When your eyes adjust on the small candlelit flame burning on your nightstand, you try to process how you got here.

Last thing you remember is going to Kai's room for comfort and realizing he was gone. Instead of going out and looking for him, you sat on his bed and waited for him. Since he was eating and also looking all over the castle for you with Jean, he took a while to return.

You felt your body grow tired and lazy, your eyes growing heavier and heavier until you eventually fell asleep in his bed.

He must've found you finally and carried you back to your room. The fact that you heard the door close just a few seconds ago means it just happened too.

You slide your legs off the bed and the balls of your feet press against the cold floors beneath them. Approaching the windows, you slide the curtains open for sunlight to come through but there isn't any outside.

Your hand presses up on the icy glass and when you pull away, your handprint lingers, the condescension on the window carving its shape.

You wipe away the rest of the moisture with your palm so you can look out the window more clearly.

Where your bedroom balcony resided, it was a perfect view of the vast fields. To your right, you had the horse stables and trees that seemed to go on for miles and miles.

To your left was the rose garden and the greenhouse. You open the window and peek your head past it in the direction of the lonesome looking greenhouse.

Around this time, you were always found there watering your plants and tending to them. You didn't have much energy to do so today but you decide to go anyway considering you haven't been the best at keeping up with it since you've been busy all week.

The last thing you wanted was for all your plants to die.

You slip your shoes on and don't even bother to fix your face or hair. You were sure you probably looked a mess but you weren't bothered enough to care.

You attempt to take the less populated route outside to avoid bumping into anyone. It was kinda ironic how you have always wanted people to acknowledge you your entire life and now all you wanted was to disappear into the background again.

When you open the doors to go outside, you're hit with harsh wind that stung your eyes and skin. You could feel the skin of your lips crack up against the pressure.

Taking several steps outside regardless of the weather conditions, you look around and note that there's not a single person out here besides the few guards you see monitoring the front gates like always.

Every step you take, you hear the loud crunch of the grass underneath your heavy, weighed down feet. You lift your foot up and see the way the yellow, almost brown grass was even darker in the spots you stepped on.

You take another step and watch as it happens again. In attempt to test the theory running through your mind, you stretch your foot outwards and step hard on one of the still green portions of the grass.