[ᴄᴀsᴛʟᴇs ᴏғ ɪᴄᴀʀᴜs]

chapter 8

Shouta was happy to see that Izuku was adjusting well.

At least that's what he thought.

Usually, he was good at reading people. He could notice the slightest shift in the body, or the every so slight flash of an emotion.

He could do it to everyone.

All except Izuku.

The kid was so hard to read.

It was slightly unnerving. The kid looked like he was dissociating all day every day.

He didn't come to Shouta when he was in pain, or felt like needing to talk.

It was reasonable, but still offset him nonetheless.

"Izuku."

The boy in question whirled around quickly, his posture straightening and face blank.

"Can we talk in private?"

A million thoughts swirled around in Izuku's head.

We're they finally getting rid of him?

Was he not good enough?

He numbly nodded and followed his adoptive dad towards his room.

The purple themed room was for once a dreadful view, Shouta already sitting on the bed and waiting patiently.

"Are you okay?"

That caught him off guard.

The black haired man for once actually caught something in Izuku's eyes.

Hesitation, guilt, and fear.

"Please kid, I need you tell me the truth. . ."

"I. . .no. . ."

With a heavy sigh, the raven haired man softened his gaze.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

His eyes stung but he refused to cry. "I've been so blessed. Given a home, food, and a family, but I still. . .I'm still not happy. I should be bouncing off the walls with joy. I shouldn't still have so many things wrong with me. . .! I. . . I"

Warm arms engulfed his already steadily filling out figure.

"I'm so ungrateful!"

"Izuku. Look at me."

Emerald and jade met onyx black.

"You are allowed to not be okay. You are allowed to flinch. You are allowed to be scared. You are allowed to be and do whatever you want or just what you can't control. If you think for a second that you have to hide any of that, you'd be wrong." (💀 I was gonna say dead wrong, but y'know)

"But there a people who had it so much worse than me, and I'm still not happy-"

"You're right. There are people who've had it worse than you. But that is no excuse for you to discount your own feelings and hurt. Do you hear me Snowdrop? You are not going to be okay right away. You are healing. Healing takes time. Don't you ever think it doesn't."

He barely even realized the nickname Hizashi came up with had slipped through his words.

With those words, Izuku's face was buried into Shouta's chest, the man whispering soft words to him as he gently ran his fingers through white curls.

"I can't take it! Please I just need a cigarette! Or booze! Just something! I don't care if it's the cheap stuff! Something!" Izuku sobbed out, gripping the back of Shouta's shirt like a lifeline.

The black haired man sighed rather loudly. "C'mon kid, you know I can't give you any of that."

The silence of the room was only filled with tearless cries, and sorrowful shushes.

---

"Alright brats, actually, no Izuku you're fine and we're very glad you're here-" he pointed to Hitoshi. "Alright brat, and Izuku, we've got ten months to the UA entrance exam, and in that time I'm going to whip you into shape." Shouta jogged backwards as the two teens kept up.

"If you slack off, skip training for reasons other than sickness or death, if you even think of trying to sabotage one another, you will be left behind to train on your own."

"You wanna be in the hero course? You don't have a second to spare.

Welcome to hell, kids."

As if on que, despite the sunny atmosphere, thunder boomed in the distance.

An omen of death is what they were facing.

Shouta Aizawa was here to murder his students will to live. (not that one of theirs was already dead long ago 💀)

---

Hitoshi knew Izuku was suicidal.

He figured it out after noticing all the drawers that held anything that could cause harm were locked.

After seeing the way his teacher stood across the hall when the white haired boy used the bathroom, just so he wouldn't try anything.

After noticing the signs he exhibited himself.

So when he came across the boy sitting atop the roof of the apartment complex, he nearly had a heart attack.

Hitoshi had grown so attached to the pretty face his mind immediately supplied the worst.

"Izuku?" He tried to keep his voice level.

The boy in question didn't seem surprised about his presence, almost as if he already knew he was there.

"Hello Hitoshi."

"What are you doing up here?" The purple haired boy finally pulled himself up from the fire escape, slowly walking over to Izuku.

"I. . .I wanted to see the stars better, but it appears all the light from the city has blocked them out."

His voice was light and sweet. Hitoshi swore he would never get tired of hearing it.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Hitoshi?"

A small hum of acknowledgement.

"I know this may sound strange. . .but can you hold me for a moment?"

A blush creeped to the purple haired boys face.

"U-Um sure! Can. . .can I ask why?"

Izuku slowly made his way over, and rested the back of his head against Hitoshi's shoulder. The taller male snaked his arms around the boys figure.

"I. . .I don't know what I'm going t-to do to myself. . ."

"That's okay. You don't always have to know everything. Just relax."

Hitoshi felt the tenseness leave from both their bodies.

He began using Hitoshi's hand to gently trace the raised flesh of scars on his own hand.

A quiet hum caught his attention.

". . .Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end. . .sun digs it's heels, to taunt you. . .but after sunlit days one thing stays the same. . .rises the moon~"

Izuku's sweet voice rang out, the lyrics gentle and calming.

Hitoshi never protested the singing, and only spoke once more when Izuku was done.

"You have a beautiful voice. . ."

He looked down.

Izuku was asleep, his arms cradling Hitoshi's and keeping them wrapped around his body.

"I'm really glad you can't hear this. . .

"I love you."