Bell's Hell

Chapter One

Everything in the cab; the dashboard, console, windows and even Jackson spun violently like one of those carnival rides that you wished you could desperately jump free from. It was a blur of bleeding colours. The seatbelt flexed and tightened till it bit the tender flesh of Kristen Bell's neck as her body twisted and her head jerked, slamming into the passenger window. Her head swooned, her equilibrium nonexistent and the depth of the canyon below an inevitable demise.
When the wheels of the Jeep caught the highway shoulder and kissed gravity she knew this to be her end. She gasped at the sight. There it was, the canyon walls shockingly steep, laughing at her. Her breath stopped. The wild rapids rose up in greeting, the river with its mighty tongue ready to lick her up, swallow and consume her. She would drown in that ugly froth of dirty lies, and deceit and worst of all, lonely.
At least this was how she figured her end would be along this desolate stretch of treacherous highway.
She opened her eyes, adjusted her glasses and let out a deep relief of breath and beheld the view of the Rockies. The great range snaked along, white peaks stood jagged and harsh. The mountain scenery a cold desolate and brutal beauty that reminded one who, in the heart of the wild was truly in control.
In the door pocket lay the provincial road map and a brochure on the Rockies. She unfolded it scanning for the red line that defined the highways searching for highway 1. Even on the map the range looked somewhat ominous.
"So these are the Rocky Mountains," she said. Her large eyes peered out through the sun roof at the unforgiving great height. The waxing moon looked back. "Wow! Did you know some of these peaks reach over four thousand feet?That's crazy!" The last bar flashed out, cell range disappeared. She frowned.
"Nothing gets passed you," her husband Jackson said darkly. His lips twisted into a mocking smirk.
Her thin brows knitted. Take a breath don't let him get to you. "I've never been this far north before. We should've made this trip earlier in the year. Like on our anniversary. When it was warmer." She cranked the heat dial up a notch. "It would have been a great time, a perfect time to–"
"Shut up about it would you. I said I'd tell my parents in my own time. When I feel ready." He turned the temperature dial back down. "Toughen up. You're to fragile.
She looked to the left to see the Fraser River begin to disappear from view  bleeding through the canyon's sheer rock walls as the Jeep crawled up the steep grade of highway. "It's breathtaking isn't it?"
"It's deadly," he said looking up toward the snow capped peaks. "No room for mistakes out there." His eyes slid over her form and she couldn't decide if it was a compliment or demeaning in some way. Then he said, "Especially for someone like you." Kristen looked at him sharply. Her blue eyes glistened vibrant with moisture in a questioning look of disbelief but she remained silent. "You'd need a miracle to get out of a hellhole like this," he continued.
She looked away. A flutter of unease rumbled through her stomach when she viewed the endless forest canopy. He's just testy, they'd skipped dinner to save driving time, and now he was in a bad mood. She just needed to have patience with him, lack of food was making him irritable. Inside her purse she drew out a sandwich, and handed it to him.
"Here," she said holding out a sandwich. "Have something to eat. I know you're hungry."
Without looking at her he took the sandwich then tossed it out the window.
"Wha- Why did you do that?' She adjusted herself to face him, and repositioned her obstinate glasses. "What is wrong with you?"
Without a word or even a glance he cut off winter's chill with a touch of a button and the sound of her voice as he cranked up the music, staring at the onslaught of winter's breath.
The wipers slashed at the falling white crystals blowing across the windshield. Squeak, squeak, squeak.
"Bloody wipers! Thought I told you to have them replaced the last time the Jeep needed servicing." He glared at her from the corner of his eye, shook his head and said, "do you ever do what you're told?"
She let out a slow, deep breath. She'd really done it this time. The car reeked with tension. She didn't dare antagonize him with a response. It would only lead to more arguing. Just keep your head down, look out the window like you're thinking about all the things you've done wrong on this trip. And how you'll never make those mistakes again.
"Did you hear me?" he said sharply.
She lowered her eyes. Nervous tension prickled her skin because she knew there'd better be an answer. Or else. Don't look at him, she told herself, he'll only make you cry.
"Yes," she lied.
"I can't hear you. Speak clearly." His hands gripped the leather steering wheel till it creaked. He was furious, and driving too fast. The speedometer read twenty kilometres over the speed limit. It wouldn't be a big deal if it were summer, but winter road conditions were angry, harrowing this part of the trip.
The narrow two-lane highway through the canyon was unnerving. Its beauty mesmerizing, the steep rock faces jagged and unforgiving. And Kristen's heart pounded, her hands trembled as she tried to control her fear. Snowflakes smacked the windshield, bleeding into water. Her hand wandered the depths of her purse till the familiar curves of her lighter found her grasp. I don't really want a smoke, she thought. This will do just fine. It gave her some semblance of comfort, just holding it, feeling it.
"Yes." Her response was so clear it was sharp, and with an edge she didn't intend. But, it was too late. The meaning behind the yes, sounded more like, eff you. Oh, well, he had it coming. He had to know that, right? He had to know what a jerk he was being. She just needed to give him some space, quiet time for him to realize he was wrong. Since the morning of the trip his mood was foul.
"Don't get lippy. You're lucky you're here. I had a good mind to leave you home. And you better be on your best behaviour. I don't want you making anyone feel uncomfortable. I'll be watching you."
"What-"
"What? What? What?" he mocked. "I'm not asking you to perform some juggling act. I want you to go around and talk to everyone. Make friends. This is my family and you need to make an impression. Got it?"
A slush filled rut grabbed the front passenger wheel sending the vehicle off course. Kristen lurched forward, grabbed the dash, and looked up. The dull black rubber blades grinding against the window. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.
Dirt smeared slush swiped accusations across her field of vision, Your fault, simpleton, you're useless!
"Slow down! You're scaring me." She squeezed her eyes shut, plastering herself into the back of her seat. She didn't want to see It happen, maybe she could force herself to sleep through this bloody nightmare. But the nightmare engulfed her in its consciousness, forcing her eyes open to see a wall of white. Her feet pressing hard against the floor mat as though it were a brake she could somehow control. But she had none, not over her life, or her feelings. Her love for him was going to kill her, she could feel it.
"Please!" she cried.
They slid around a hidden corner and she leaned heavy against the console. She felt herself breathing as though she were ready to give birth.
"And now you've got me sleeping in a double size bed! I told you I wanted a queen." He wasn't even listening to her. They'd already discussed. . . No, they argued about it. Sometimes she thought he enjoyed the drama of arguing.
"They didn't have one available–"
"Not one room in that whole hotel?"
"No. Like I said there was another hotel–"
"I said, I said." His beautiful, chiseled features turned ugly in his anger. "Then you should've booked in that one. What's wrong with you?" The back of his hand came out of no where and stopped just short of her face. She flinched, and retracted into the side of the door. "Are you stupid?" He shook his head and added, "And I'm introducing you to my family. . . What the hell was I thinking?" His fists balled around the wheel squeezing, his perfect teeth clenched, and shot a dagger from the corner of his caramel eyes.
"You're lucky I'm a better man."
"What?"
"What?"
"Stop mocking me! What is your problem? Nobody's perfect Jack. There is no argument here. If you'd just let me explain we could get beyond this, and enjoy this time together." She sighed a deep breath. "The other hotel was in the next city which meant driving a good two hours longer. And we said we didn't want to drive through the night–"
"We? You mean me. I drive, remember that. I'm a damn good drive. Got it? You just sit back and look pretty"
There was no getting through to him, and she felt tears welling in her pale blue eyes and her throat tightened. She hated it when he got like this. It was the stress of the trip, she knew. He didn't really mean to take it out on her. She just had to ride out his verbal assaults till he decided to calm down. The worst part would be the punishment. He would punish her for her bad behaviour. But she had to try. So she reached over, the tips of her fingers grazing the smooth dark skin of his hand resting on the console. He jerked away from her touch and switched hands to control the wheel, his head now propped on his other hand against the window. His body spoke volumes as he sat there angled away from her. He was reclusive, untouchable.
Yup, she was being punished. And how long would this go on? All through the night no doubt. A familiar routine outlined their relationship. He would say or do something questionable ending with Kristen's feelings being torched, and he'd carry on like nothing happened. There'd be no sleep for her. The sickness of stress churning her stomach into knots that would keep her awake all night. Would it always be this way? she wondered.
But of course he'd sleep like a baby. If only he knew exactly how he made her feel inside, knew how much she loved him and what she was willing to sacrifice for him, his love. Maybe then things would be different, he'd treat her like she was his everything. Her heart banged through her chest. All she wanted was for him to love her the way she loved him. Was that too much to ask?
She turned on the radio hoping to drown out her awful thoughts. Thoughts of unspoken expectations, and hopeless desires of reciprocation. The fear of losing someone made you ache to be loved. Maybe she was punishing herself. He knew exactly how she felt about him, and deep down she knew he didn't deserve her. But she fell so hard, so fast. His soft words and gentle touch scooped her into her into his world. A world she never wanted to leave. Because when he loved her it was complete, everything stopped. Everything. All she saw and felt was so beautiful and pure. It was real. He couldn't fake that.
Stress was his achilles heal. It robbed his brain of proper communication skills. The more he spoke the angrier he got. And the more he'd curse. Usually because he could never really say what he wanted to. It always came out wrong, angry and hurtful. Fury and spite encouraged his vocabulary. But his ego kept him distant and an unsettling quiet hovered in the air. Talking to him did nothing. Hidden behind a calm demeanour; a viper lay coiled and ready to strike. He'd begun rubbing his chin with his thumb, back and forth. So focused on the road it was almost as though he weren't seeing it all.
It was better to just stay quiet and let the boil calm to a simmer. Maybe he'd even realize before they got to the hotel what a jerk he'd been and apologize. Miracles did happen. Sometimes.
An eighteen wheeler stormed around a wide bend through a haze of snowfall. The headlights sliced through the windshield, momentarily blinding Jackson. But the many years driving an ambulance through all kinds of treacherous weather conditions prepared him for the worst.
They sped around the corner, the all–season tires searched for any rough surface to to grab onto, but the slush made it impossible. Mountain roads and increasing elevations made for terrible weather conditions no matter the vehicle. Kristen hated winter road trips. They always gave her a foreboding feeling.
The vehicle slid around the sharp corner at the bottom of the hill, and Kristen felt her stomach drop when she looked out the window at the depthless canyon, when an ominous question lurked through her mind, I wonder how long it would take for a body to hit the bottom?
The Jeep climbed the impossibly high, mountain before they reached Hell's Gate Pass. She didn't have to crane her neck to see the great chasm scream up at her.
After she wiped away her tears, and her runny nose on the sleeve of her sweater she looked back to the sky. No more night, all she saw was white. Nothing but white.
"Ah, shi–"
"Jack! Please We're blind! Jack. Stop! Stop!"
They were driving blind. Panic started in her gut, then the trembling and now she could feel her heart thrashing, her throat tightening. Don't panic, don't panic. He drives for a living he knows what he's doing, she told herself. But she couldn't stop the panic. It owned her.
"Slow down!"
The decline of the Jeep's hood dipped down at a sharp angle, they were heading down hill and picking up speed rapidly. 
"I have my class 4," he snapped. "I know what I'm doing! It's my job to drive. Save lives and tend the injured. What do you do?"
What did she do? Nothing. Once they'd moved in together Jack convinced her to quit her job "I'm the man," he'd said, followed by "it's my job to provide for you. I'm old school that way. When we have a family you'll stay home and raise the kids. I'm not having some stranger filling our children's heads with their ideologies and moral standards or lack there of. Do you?"
Kristen grew up with her mother at home. She ran a small but profitable catering business from home. Being her own boss provided the luxury of setting her own hours and with no shortage of motivation and drive she couldn't help but be successful. Her mother was her greatest role model so she was inclined to agree with Jack. Kristen had worked in ER as a registered nurse for only a year when they decided to move in. And now that she was in her late twenties with her maternal urges were beginning to nag.
"Listen! You don't know where you're going. Everything is a blanket of white. Can't we just stop?" Her hands clammed up, and she rubbed them down her thighs, fear tripped her heart over and over.
"Stop? Are you stupid? Where exactly would you like me to stop?"
"Well do you want to drive off into the canyon? Then everything stops. Permanently." She could feel her face reddening with anger and hurt, but it was the fear of knowing this was going to get much worse that made her stomach clench. He was thinking bad thoughts, she could feel it. The tension in the cab caused her to shiver. His lips tightened into a hard line, his jaw flexed, and he rubbed his forehead with angst. Then those gorgeous dark eyes narrowed, and pierced through her.
"Shut up. And let me drive." In the cab's shadow Jackson's caramel eyes looked black and cruel. "You want me to stop?" He slammed on the brakes. "Fine."
The Jeep jerked then slid, the back-end swerved, and Kristen squeezed her eyes shut. Finally, they stopped but not before the sound of air brakes broke the tension. Bright white globes glared through the windshield. The Jeep trembled as the semi truck passed on by spraying muddy slush across her field of vision. She stole a sharp breath and felt the Jeep slide to an ugly stop.
She blinked hard, her hands slammed into the dash. "What? Wha-"
"Out!" He grabbed her goose-down jacket and her purse. "Take your shit and get out!"
"Wait! Stop! Stop! I'm sorry. . . Please!" She clung to the door handle. Her fingers rigid and knuckles bone-white with desperation. With a click the door unlocked.
"No!" she cried. "Please Jack." But Jack was the stronger and it was already open, one final shove sent her flying. She tumbled out and onto her knees. Once on her feet, she cried out, "Jack!"
"Well dearie. Looks like you got what you wanted. Don't worry your pretty little head, I'm sure someone will pick you up. Good luck."
A spark of fear bloomed into a wildfire of panic when he slammed the door closed.
"Don't leave me!" she wailed. Her fists pounded on the window. "JAAAACK!"
Kristen fell to her knees and wept, watching the blizzard swallow the Jeep's taillights.