Boys Like Me

•~• Chapter two •~•

When I got home I went right to my room. Smothering myself in my freshly cleaned duvet, I practically sleep on a cloud. I love my bed so much, and it's where I spend most of my time, honestly. Of course I fell asleep. It's not unusual for me to have an after-school nap, but it is unusual for me to dream about the topic I had been dreaming about... If you know what I mean. I pulled my jeans down and slipped my hand underneath the band of my underwear.
No, I shouldn't. I have stuff to do.
Resisting the urge, I made my way to the kitchen. Searching the cupboards, hoping for something to ease my hunger. I wondered what that girls name was. After not much thought, I decided I'd just get my favourite order from subway, which is on the way to Sam's. My next task is to get my headphones before I lose my mind in the deafening silence.

Sam only lives one street over, but it's a lot different than mine. I live in an overgrown brick building and he lives in the penthouse of a shiny white apartment complex. When I'm not working at Pico's Pizzeria, I'm there every day in the summer.

I walk through the lobby, to the shiny stainless steel elevator. People buzz around, chatting about their weekend. I wait for the elevator, tapping my fingers on my side. I hop on and take the elevator up to the fifth floor. I always loved elevators; the way your heart comes up to your throat is exhilarating. Sam's apartment is a wreck, which is not entirely unlike Sam. Clothes laying out over the back of the off-white couch in the middle of the living room, shoes in a pile by the door. Coats shoved in the half-open coat closet. Jake, Sam's 4-year-old massive tabby cat greets me at the door. "Hello jakey," I scratch his chin, his purr seems so loud in the eerily quiet home. I glance around the living room, wondering where Sam's maid has been. It seems like he hasn't been home in days. I continue into Sam's kitchen, on his marble countertop next to the half empty bowl of fruit lays my headphones. I put them on and immediately turn them on to start music. The Backseat Lovers sings into my soul.

November 16

Last night I couldn't sleep. I'm not sure why. I spent all night tossing and turning, too many things on my mind. Streets too loud. Cats knocking things down. I stayed up to 4am watching the tube, until finally dozing off a little. I woke up to my neighbours arguing, which is often my alarm clock anyway. I open my brown shutters and notice the world is white.

It snowed

I brewed myself some tea. I was standing in just my boxers by the counter when there was a knock on the door. Since my top surgery, I've had my shirt off every chance I get. It was a girl at my door. The same girl I saw yesterday.
"Hey! I just moved in two doors down, I brought you some banana muffins that I made yesterday!" She held them out in front her. About a dozen banana muffins layed out on a polka dot tray, covered in Saran wrap.
"Thank you so much!" I said, trying to sound as masculine as possible.
"I'm sorry if I came at a bad time-" she said, looking me up and down after noticing I was almost naked.
"No no! This is fine" I leaned against the doorframe, beaming. Smiling ear to ear. I took the muffins from her hands.

"These will be gone in just a few days, I'll bring you your tray. Room 321?"
She smiled and nodded before turning and walking back to her door, which she had locked even though she wasn't going far. She's cautious. She's pretty. She's kind. She's perfect. How did I not notice her before? I should have noticed the prettiest girl in town was living in my own apartment complex. The muffins were delicious. Better than delicious. I should have asked her out. But I didn't. I couldn't.
I looked at the time blinking on my microwave, 7:17am. Shit. I grabbed the first pants I could find and pulled them on. Dark brown khakis. I slipped a sweater on, grabbed a muffin to eat, and one for the road before rushing out the door. I was almost late to my appointment. I realized my shirt was on backwards while eating another muffin in the lobby. I told Tom about her. Tom is my therapist.
"I met a girl. Turns out she lives in my building..." I cautiously told him, staring at the floor.
Tom has big bushy eyebrows and a belly that often pokes out of the bottom of his button down shirts. He sits in a big red leather chair across from me, his fingers interlocked over his chest.
"Is this a girl of interest?" He asks, rubbing his beard.
"I- I don't know... maybe... I mean she sure is beautiful but I hardly even know her."
"Maybe you should spend some time changing that.. get to know her. This would be good for you, Sam"
We continued to talk about relationships, and the fears and favours that come with them. I've only had one girlfriend before, it was still in high school and it didn't last long. I grabbed the door knob with my sweaty hands before walking out, his secretary, Dianne giving me a nod. Dianne is like his 10th secretary, but she's stuck around the longest. Her red pixie cut is always decorated with clips or headbands, and her sweaters always have cheesy prints, mostly cats. Her desk holds a bowl of suckers, which is funny because Tom doesn't only help children. As always, I take a red one, and give her a nod before heading out.

November 18
I went over to return the muffin tray this morning. She was already dressed and ready for the day at 8am. Her appartment is tidy and full of greenery and area rugs. It's really cozy. I told her how great the muffins were and she invited me in. We sat at her table for a few hours, talking about cats and jobs and poetry. After some time, I asked her out. I asked Scarlett Brown out on a date. A coffee date. Saturday morning. I skipped class today to be with her but I'm sure I'll get caught up by tomorrow anyway. It was perfect.
I giddy skip back to my room, crazy thoughts rolling through my head. Scarlett is beautiful. Brown hair, and green eyes. Freckles littering her whole body. Her arms, her nose, her lips, which I was dying to taste. Her nails are so perfectly kept and her outfits are always full of character. I think I've got a crush.